County Connivers

Maricopa County Administrator David Smith was named best county leader in the nation by Governing Magazine in November 2001. Now Smith deserves to lose his job. The publication, which is read by practically every high-level bureaucrat in the nation, had gushed that Smith performed miracles in leading Maricopa County out…

Punk Rock Paradise

After blowing most of our dolo at that swank strip club Skin last week, Jett and I needed a low-rent joint at which to chillax (that’s chill and relax, yo). Fortunately, my pally Gatsby, ribald renaissance man and massage therapist to club hotties, had a semi-genius idea for us. “Monday…

Letters

Firearms Aren’t Us Gamers don’t pose a threat: I just wanted to comment on the excellent job that Jimmy Magahern did in delving into our little circle of gaming and other activities (“War Games,” May 6), but I would like to refute the spin that the story seemed to take…

Fields of Dreams

The argument is simple enough: Metro Phoenix is the world’s new baseball mecca. If you love baseball, this is the best place on Earth to visit. If you’re a kid with dreams of being a big league star, this is the best place on Earth to call home. Supporting such…

Running Scared

Governor Janet Napolitano has finally found her man. Tucked under the right arm of presumed Democratic presidential nominee John F. Kerry, Napolitano beamed radiantly during a Democratic party rah-rah at the Arizona Biltmore recently. Normally aloof, Napolitano never drifted far from the Massachusetts senator’s side. She got the good lovin’…

Skin-NY Dippin’

My dawg Jett, a.k.a. the lezzy Nelly, has been ailin’ of late ’cause she got dumped by her squeeze of the week, some fine hoochie-mama with bodacious ta-tas. The girl went Unabomber on me, and locked herself in her room with some bud and a bottle of Tanqueray. “What you…

Letters

Fly the Friendly Skies Not for party animals only: Skydive Arizona is not the party animal place you make it out to be (“In the Zone,” Susy Buchanan, April 22). It is the home of world champions — first and foremost. Arizona Airspeed has dominated U.S. Nationals and the world…

War Games

They line up by the warehouse door at Contractor Wire and Cable in south Phoenix like an army of IT guys delivering refurbished computers: 140 mostly white males, most in their mid-20s, clutching big CRT monitors in front of their guts and toting hefty cabinets and bags full of wires,…

Colangelo Eats Crow

One day isn’t enough. Phoenix should be celebrating Cuatro y Cinco de Mayo. A two-day party would allow us to fete not only the Mexican Army’s smashing defeat of the French Foreign Legion on May 5, 1862, but also the founding of Phoenix on May 4, 1868. Next year, if…

Civil Outcome

On his first solo night in February 2001, P hoenix rookie cop Shawn Dirks found himself accused of anal rape. He knew his accuser was drunk — he’d encountered her during a DUI stop. But he didn’t know until later that she was also mentally disturbed. It quickly became evident…

This Just In

For the second time, Maricopa County Attorney Rick Romley has declined prosecution in an alleged case of abuse of a quadriplegic woman by her husband. In a New Times story published last year (“Paralyzed in Paradise,” May 1, 2003), Heather Grossman claimed that her husband, John, spit in her face,…

Letters

The Bishop Be Damned Adult Catholic’s perspective: Regarding your column on Bishop Thomas J. O’Brien, masterful is an understatement (“The Divine Sociopath,” Michael Lacey, April 15). What is so hopeful about what you said is this: You are an adult and a Catholic, and you think like an adult, not…

President Tofu

Haven’t you always wondered what Ralph Nader groupies look like? I have. Nader’s a sort of celebrity in the way that tofu’s a sort of food, and in these effervescent days of cable exposure, all politicians — even a serial scold — are national personalities. The best-kept political secret is…

Fashion Victim

David Sheflin is absolutely the most fashionable man in town. Sheflin runs his high-end, vintage boutique in central Phoenix like a weekly salon, mingling with discerning customers and influential friends as though he’s Diana Vreeland presiding over Vogue. On the side, Sheflin deals in top-name mid-century furniture. He’s also a…

Colangelo’s Not the Real Local Hero

“I just wish that sometimes your paper could say ‘Thank you’ rather than taking shots!” Jerry Colangelo bellowed over the phone in October, the last time I was able to reach him for comment on his business endeavors. The Godfather of Phoenix sports was angry because I had dared to…

Just Desserts

Have you heard the one about the onetime felon who threw a fund raiser for the guy who wanted to be the county’s top prosecutor? Mike Bailey, one of several candidates hoping to succeed outgoing Maricopa County Attorney Rick Romley, started off his remarks with a wisecrack during a debate…

Green Guzzlin’

Like Snoop says in that joint they play all the time on Power 92.3, “Green’s for the money, the money, the money.” But green’s also for the mainstay of P-town bar-band culture, the Emerald Lounge, the kind of place where hot bands rub up against friendly drunks and stoners. It’s…

Letters

Lock Him Up Profile in courage: I take my hat off to Father Joe Ladensack, who had the moral courage to refuse Bishop O’Brien’s outrageous demands to make a family rescind its charges of pedophilia in the Catholic church (“The Divine Sociopath,” Michael Lacey, April 15). What courage Father Ladensack…

Power Vacuum

I’ll never forget the scorching blast that poured through the open door of the Boeing 707 as I prepared to exit the jet on August 15, 1974, my first summer day in Phoenix. As a wide-eyed, 18-year-old freshman entering Arizona State University, I was stunned by the intensity of the…

In The Zone

At terminal velocity, the wind can have a troubling effect on the male body. Consider that a plummeting adult falls at a rate of about 120 mph, a freefall fast enough to ripple your lips back around your ears. Nude, the whipping winds can actually flip a penis backward, thrusting…

Risky Biz-ness

Dime time. That means, 10 o’clock on a Thursday night, and I’m chillin’ at my homegirl Jett’s pad as she readies herself to ride on da club. The crib’s split between her side and that belonging to her roommate, T-Dog. One guess which side looks like a Hummer did doughnuts…

Letters

The Chill Is Gone Austin power: Great story (“Death of Cool,” John Dougherty, April 8). What you didn’t mention was the best coffee house on Mill — Java Road — replaced by a Bank of America, and then a yuppie-hell Internet cafe. And 6 East — the best place to…