Has uncertainty over the outcome of the presidential race sent our republic hurtling toward a constitutional cataclysm?Nah. The sky isn’t falling. The soft money isn’t hardening. This is good fun, and more interesting than the Subway Series. Historians are actually getting face time on TV. Perhaps our electile dysfunction will…
CorrectionThe Flash abjectly issues the following correction(s):Contrary to what was reported in an earlier column, the voters of the East Valley’s District 30 are not “chromosomally challenged retards.” However, this assertion does not alter the Flash’s suggestion, made in the same column, that supporters of Proposition 302, the “Cardinals’ stadium…
North Buckeye — There’s nothing to see here but high-voltage lines and empty highway heading nowhere between ho-hum Sonoran mountain and bone-dry gulch. You are way west of Phoenix without the vision of Robert Burns. In 1986, at the height of the Arizona Land Rush, Burns, a young, brash, multimillionaire…
The air inside the Nashville Convention Center is literally trembling. Sound pressure waves launched by hundreds of bass woofers surge through the room at 1,132 feet per second. The waves combine with each other, bounce off the walls, flutter your clothing and quake through your body. The ambient noise inside…
“You’ll be the first journalist in the Valley that I’ll walk right up to the spot where I was conceived,” Dan Harkins says over the phone. He’s inviting New Times to tour the Valley Art Theatre, which is in the final stages of renovation before its grand reopening later this…
Celebrity Roast Star pit: I will never understand the American proclivity for failing to “get a life” (“Down Memory Lame,” Dewey Webb, November 2). All involved in this article most surely need to. If your 15 minutes of fame are up, go do something else and then you won’t look…
The City of Phoenix began the year ominously with Celebration 2000, a misnomeric millennial party featuring everyone from the Gin Blossoms to the Association. Built to attract 200,000 revelers, Mayor Skip Rimsza’s world-class bash was a bust for the ages. Organizers sold merely 13,000 tickets, and the city eviscerated its…
Legacy ShmegacyThe Arizona Republic beatified publisher John Oppedahl on the occasion of his resignation, touting his visionary grasp of the Internet. Less than a week after the cybergod fled, Gannett axed most of the Republic’s online staff. In all, 60 positions at the Republic — none in the newsroom –…
In a classic 1955 I Love Lucy episode, Lucy Ricardo tries to figure out how to maximize her star-gazing mileage while vacationing in Hollywood. “Tracking them down one by one takes so much time,” complains the country’s biggest autograph hound after her sidekick Ethel Mertz suggests driving up and down…
Editor’snote: Because the family portrayed in this story is in this country illegally, New Times is using only the first names of family members. Martín sits on the dingy brown sofa sectional with his back hunched, gazing at the spiral notebook resting on his lap. He’s filling it with mathematical…
House Speaker Jeff Groscost threatened in early August to take the alternative-fuel-vehicle program away from the state energy office unless its director — Amanda Ormond — more forcefully promoted the program even as its cost was skyrocketing. Groscost made the threat in an August 8 voice-mail message to Ormond. Groscost…
Get a Life Personal best: The author of the article “Drive-thru Deliverance” (Amanda Scioscia, October 19) wrote a telling and misleading article on the woes and wonders of the Landmark Forum, most of it out of context. It should be noted that no one can capture the experience in writing…
Jessica Karen Jeffries is 18 years old, but has the mental capacity of someone perhaps half her age. Her bedroom is decorated with illustrations of characters from Winnie the Pooh, which she has meticulously colored.She is 5-foot-7 and weighs 437 pounds. Jessica is going on trial next week, charged with…
John’s Gone The John Oppedahl era is over at the Millennial Arizona Republic. The publisher resigned last Friday. The sky wept inconsolably all day. Speculation has him taking the job as publisher of the San Francisco Chronicle.Rumors are also rampant of an impending downsizing at the Republic. The Flash has…
Getting into the gas business used to be a simple proposition. A prospective dealer would hook up with a brand, go to training school, buy out another dealer or maybe even be given a vacant station by the company, and start pumping. Most were lessee dealers, who rented stations from…
Jon Entine likes to think of himself as an archetypal white liberal baby boomer.Entine, 48, dropped out of college in 1972 to work for George McGovern, and says he’s voted for only one Republican political candidate in his life. When Entine, a former producer for NBC and ABC News, began…
Deliver Us Brain drain: Bravo. It’s disheartening, although not surprising, that this stuff still works on people (“Drive-thru Deliverance,” Amanda Scioscia, October 19). Yes, I agree that most of us are living repressed lives, aren’t able to be open with each other, don’t know ourselves, don’t feel loved, etc. And…
Valley TV viewers seldom see the Arizona Cardinals play at Sun Devil Stadium. This is because local broadcasts are blacked out unless the homeboys sell all the seats in the stadium, something they do with the frequency of the Perseid meteor shower.The Cards played in Dallas on Sunday, so, unfortunately,…
Forked TongueThe Flash has uncovered a potentially explosive voice-mail that surfaced during a Proposition 302 records search. The document is a transcript of an August 10 voice mail from Jim Grogan, chairman of the Tourism and Sports Authority, to Jay Ruffner, the TSA’s attorney. The message addresses an inquiry the…
There are many ghost stories about the desert Southwest, but none, perhaps, more chilling than the legend of Nightfall, Arizona. Back in the 1800s, this sleepy little town was the unfortunate home of the Goulliard Asylum for the Perpetually Insane. The Asylum had flourished under the direction of Doctor Jebediah…
Coming off the graveyard shift at his Mobil station in Scottsdale, Tom Van Boven looks the way he feels. Van Boven would prefer not to work 16 hours a day, but he had to lay off half his help last Christmas to make ends meet. Business is still slow, though,…
In the 1980s, Phoenix motorists had plenty of choices when it was time to fill up the tank. ARCO, Union 76, Mobil and the other giants were around, but so were such discounters as Circle K, U-Totem and Pasco. In 1981, the six biggest oil companies in Phoenix had only…
