The Don Juan we’ll call Mr. X wasn’t just torn between two lovers–he was ripped. Parked in one corner of his heart was the fiercely independent “Dominique,” a vain shrew cursed by bad dentistry and even worse boudoir techniques. In another corner lounged the beautiful “Brenda,” a syphilitic yuppie who…
Dear Charles, This is the perfect time for you to retire from the National Basketball Association. Your stock both as a player and a publicly revered personality will never get any higher than it is right now. Those of us who watched you perform for two seasons with the Phoenix…
There has to be a certain amount of pride that goes into what you do. Someday, you’ll all be as old as I am now, and I don’t want you to look back and think you didn’t make the most out of this. This all goes by very, very fast…
What do you do when a loved one is reduced to an unsavory housekeeping problem? Even the world’s best-known authority on cleaning is scratching her head over that one. “[Homicide and suicide cleanup] is a real-life issue,” volunteers Heloise, the syndicated “high-priestess of household hints” whose column appears in 500…
Even before he reached the front porch of the death house, Dale Cillian knew he had his work cut out for him. “I could smell it halfway up the driveway,” says Cillian. “Not a good sign. I’m telling you, that place was ripe.” “Ripe” seems woefully inadequate to describe the…
As of last Sunday, Deborah Laake’s book Secret Ceremonies sat at No. 11 on the New York Times Bestseller List for paperback nonfiction after nine weeks on the list. Laake is a staff writer for New Times and an executive managing editor for the five cities in which New Times…
The Communications Technology department at Metro Tech Vocational Institute took a giant step toward the future this month when it acquired a satellite dish to capture television signals. It promises to be a powerful, cutting-edge teaching tool for the vocational school. So when the $2,000 device finally arrived, department leaders…
For Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis, the spirit of Camelot never died. But we went too far. We deified Jackie. No one understood her exalted status after the president’s funeral better than she did. It was an event she had successfully orchestrated. She knew that from that point on, no one would…
In March 1989, freshman Representative Robert “Bob” Burns, Republican-Glendale, was better known at the Arizona State Capitol as a lobbyist than as a lawmaker. Before his election to the House of Representatives, Burns, who then owned two child-care centers in the Valley, had been a ferocious advocate for the Arizona…
When the chieftains at the Arizona law-and-lobby firm Fennemore Craig learned in 1992 that their partner Marc Spitzer intended to run for the state Senate, red flags unfurled. Could Spitzer serve in a legislature whose decisions were influenced by his own firm’s lobbyists? Fennemore Craig maintains a hefty roster of…
When the wind blows in Bisbee, some little children run indoors. It’s simply too dangerous for them to breathe the air in this old, southeastern Arizona mining town, says Anjelika Johnson, a Bisbee travel agent and the mother of a 12-year-old girl. The wind blows gritty chunks of dirt and…
New Times dominated Arizona Press Club’s 1993 writing competition, winning eight of a possible 22 first-place awards. In the competition for honors in specific categories, New Times captured 30 awards, more than any other publication. Mark Flatten of Tribune Newspapers won the club’s Journalist of the Year Award, while Randy…
Maricopa County’s finances may be in shambles, but the county’s budget apparently still looks great on paper. Even though it is more than $100 million in debt, has laid off hundreds of employees and is scrambling to dig its way out of the hole, the county won a national award…
There are a few moments when the mask of the professional athlete is snatched away. One such moment is immediately after a decisive defeat. On Sunday, the Suns players trudged single file underneath the stands to the dressing room. Their heads were down. Their faces were grim. No smiles. No…
Two friends were fishing one day when an infant floated by. One of the fishermen jumped into the water, grabbed the baby and handed it to his friend. Another infant soon floated by. The same fisherman saved her. Then, a whole group of drowning infants floated past. The rescuer again…
A management crisis is sweeping the rank and file at the state Department of Environmental Quality. Unfortunately, it has nothing to do with keeping the air clean, busting corporate polluters and making sure drinking water doesn’t contain too many strange chemicals. Instead, the agency–which was roundly criticized by state auditors…
Dave Roth brought a friend to the New Times offices, a demure little pigeon he calls Tootsie. He set her on a desk and she strutted around, nodding her head as if in agreement with Roth’s thoughts about pigeon control at the Madison Street Jail. Roth has started a heated…
When it finally opens early next year, the new visitors center at Hoover Dam promises to be a classy affair, a three-story marvel rising from the canyon wall with sweeping views of the dam and of Lake Mead. All for a mere $119 million. That staggering price tag for the…
There was nothing unusual about John Gacy’s brick bungalow. I had seen thousands just like it all over the Chicago area. But Gacy’s house at 8213 Summerdale, near O’Hare International Airport, held a horrifying and sickening secret. To create the events that took place there under cover of darkness would…
Beneath an unassuming building on Central Avenue, in a labyrinth of studios, dozens of artists labor over worktables and at easels and printing presses, churning out watercolors, paintings on canvas and etchings in practically every style known to art history: abstract, cubist and a neoclassical figurative style one could call…
Two of them do it in their bedrooms. Two others do it in an alcove. One does it in his living room and another in his glass-blowing studio. Other people across the country do it in other spaces, but the point is, anyone can do it anywhere. That is, create…
Step into Cynthia Gooding’s enclosed garage and you might believe you wandered into an extraterrestrial petting zoo. But as your eyes adjust to the dimly lighted room, you realize that you’re not mistaken at all. Outside of a sci-fi menagerie, where on Earth would you ever see the large-eared, nearly…
