Everywhere I go recently, people ask: “Cap’n Dave, what’s the deal with the election this year?” They are referring to the fact that this upcoming vote is a mind bender. In addition to the usual nagging responsibility of doofus-selection for all the high offices, we’ve also got about a dozen…
One candidate for governor favored dramatic increases in funding for education, while his opponent didn’t. Otherwise, the two men differed little on the issues. The pundits lamented that the race deteriorated into a “beauty contest.” A newspaper described it this way: “In their bid for office, the men crossed and…
No candidate this year–with the notable exception of Evan Mecham–has been the target of more questions about his integrity, honor and past actions than Grant Woods, Republican candidate for attorney general. Each time Woods begins to build a substantial lead in the polls, another face from his past surfaces to…
“I don’t care what you do. I don’t mind any bare buns but I didn’t want any swingin’ frontal shots. Just remember that we’re in the underwear business, not the pornography business.” Or so Phoenix jockmeister Dan Martin said several months ago when he gave a Hollywood producer carte blanche…
Tom Regina turned himself in. He did what few Arizona businessmen have ever considered–Regina picked up the telephone, dialed the Arizona Department of Revenue and snitched on himself for not paying $89,000 in taxes. Regina, a 36-year-old Tucson contractor, has not been diagnosed as crazy. But he’s feared as a…
The bad word from city officials just about broke the hearts of Bobbie O’Haver and others affiliated with downtown’s Arizona Museum: If the Phoenix City Council goes along with a staff recommendation at its October 30 meeting, the museum likely will be stuck in its high-crime neighborhood until at least…
This is a package deal. Prop 105 would amend the Arizona Constitution to eliminate the right of one motorist to sue another for damages in most circumstances. Prop 203 implements the “no-fault” plan, which is touted as “consumers’ choice.” A no-fault “personal protection” policy would provide coverage of $15,000 for…
It’s easy to cuss the Arizona Corporation Commission. The name is so depressingly bureaucratic most people don’t even know what it means. And when they find out what the commission does, setting utility rates in this state, the bile automatically starts to rise. Who can forget that Arizona Public Service…
On the telephone, Betty Tamisiea doesn’t sound angry. She speaks softly, as if embarrassed to utter words that she knows will later appear in a newspaper. Maybe she is simply nervous because she has never spoken to a reporter before, or because there are two public-relations specialists “on her side”…
As she puts the finishing touches on a life-size replica of a Holstein sculpted from over 400 pounds of dairy spread, Norma “Duffy” Lyon knows exactly which side her breed is buttered on. “I consider myself a dairy farmer’s wife first,” announces the 61-year-old Toledo, Iowa, housewife as she smoothes…
Mormon missionaries do not roar through neighborhoods astride Harley Davidsons, sporting fade haircuts and M.C. Hammer bloomers. Instead, these earnest young men invariably try to convert you by arriving at your residence atop sensible Schwinns, wearing black pants, white shirts and “Hi, your daughter and your soul are safe with…
If it’s Thursday, this must be Oakland. It’s three in the afternoon. I’m standing on the playing field of the Oakland Coliseum watching the Cincinnati Reds take batting practice. It’s so crowded I feel like I have just stepped on to a New York City subway platform during morning rush…
What to Do When Your Baby Won’t Stop Crying Excerpted from the troubleshooting section of Dr. Dad’s Baby Owner’s Manual ($24.95; Salami Press). 1. Pick up the baby. Maybe he/she just wants to be held. 2. Put down the baby. Maybe he/she just wants to sleep. 3. Okay. Never mind…
The nadir came in 1966, when the first baseball game was played on an artificial surface, in a dome, in Houston. Gone were rainouts, outfielders’ claims to have lost the ball in the sun and the bad hops that separate the great infielders from the merely good ones. Gone, too,…
When Margo Raczo-Miles walks out the front door in the morning, she wonders if she will be gunned down by someone hiding across the street. She checks her car for bombs and watches to make sure she’s not being followed. The 25-year-old mother of two blames Maricopa County Superior Court…
John Meunier still remembers the first time he walked into a baseball park. It was at the Polo Grounds in 1957. He was an undergraduate fresh from his native England, studying architecture in New York City. Some friends took him to see the national pastime of the country that has…
This weekend Nick at Nite’s TV Land Tour rolls into Chris-Town. And given the opportunity, the cable network would probably like to tout the traveling museum as “more fun than a barrel of Monkees.” Unfortunately, The Monkees is one of the few Sixties-era sitcoms that doesn’t air on the five-year-old…
Jeff Stone smoking a cigarette?! During his eight seasons on The Donna Reed Show, he’d have had plenty to answer for. But two weeks ago, waiting to make a personal appearance at a Nick at Nite promotion in a mall outside Dallas, it’s 45-year-old former actor Paul Petersen who’s demanding…
Chris Milke lived life on the edge, but he had no choice. During the child’s first two years, his alcoholic and drug-abusing father, Mark, weaved in and out of jail. His mother, Debbie, partied hard, scraping by and moving the kid around from apartment to apartment, city to city. The…
I saw my son’s still-damp footprint upon the bathroom tile . . . Later, in the twilight, he slept in my arms as I watched the evening news. The broadcaster described the blockade against Saddam Hussein that was gathering itself like a jelling thunderhead; even so, I tried not to…
We were driving south from Shannon Airport, heading for tiny Kenmare, in County Kerry, not far from Ireland’s fabled southwest coast, the land of the Ring of Kerry, Bantry Bay, Valencia Island and the isolated but magnificent Dingle Peninsula. Christina the Lawyer had rented a 150-year-old farmhouse on thirty isolated…
As a child of the Sixties Who was into love and peace, It, like, wow, man, really bummed me To see global strife increase. So I long ago decided, If I ever had some sons, That never would I buy them Any war toys, any guns. That’s a vow I…
