I started out as a model parent. And I’d still be a model parent if my wife had had a hysterical pregnancy instead of a kid. Before my son was born, the rules by which he’d live his life were all charted out. I’d witnessed the mistakes of other parents…
I have never seen John Tower drunk. Am I the only American who can say that? Hell, even Earl de Berge saw Tower bombed on three occasions. De Berge wrote to Arizona’s senior U.S. senator and premier real estate speculator, Dennis DeConcini, to say that he, Earl, had seen the…
If you asked I would have told you: The University of Arizona may rank No. 1, but I don’t see them making the Final Four. Putting Kemper Marley on the cover ensures Phoenix Metro magazine’s place as Arizona’s most contemptible publication. The rise of Sam Skinner from lickspittle to U.S…
When you get right down to it, there are just two kinds of people in this world: There are people who like Steve Garvey, and there are people who don’t. Every single person, be they young or old, thin or fat, Pentecostal televangelist or Satan-worshiping heavy-metal bass-guitar player, shakes down…
Twenty years ago, the parents of a child like Jenna barely flinched when they encountered discrimination. From the moment a sympathetic obstetrician offered to whisk their little tragedy off to an institution, the family of a child born with Down’s syndrome learned that all other doors–to schools, workplaces, society itself–would…
Home base for the San Francisco Giants, this charming park is a big favorite with fans of the truly hep persuasion. Many absolutists hold that Scottsdale is the absolute best place to catch a game, because of primo sightlines throughout and the cozy feel of the grandstands in relationship to…
This is where the Seattle Mariners “play” their spring games, where every new line-up card brims with the promise of the franchise’s first halfway successful season, and where I sold beer for a living exactly five years ago right this minute. Hawking cold bullets up and down the gently sloping…
When the wickedly popular Chicago Cubs come to the Valley every spring, this ballpark becomes the epicenter of more activity than it can really stand. After all, the address says Mesa. HoHoKam has some charm, but it is in no way charming enough to make up for the March madness…
The Angels have their cleats in two worlds. For the first two weeks of spring training, the club practices and plays exclusively in the Valley, based at the Gene Autry complex on East McKellips. For the second half of March, the squad spends its time exclusively in Palm Springs. So…
?By whatever weird twist of logic, the San Diego Padres do their spring training in Yuma. This is a city of military people and retired people, two groups I don’t fit in with too well. Otherwise, Yuma is a good place to get gasoline on your way back from San…
In spring, Muni is home field for the Oakland Athletics, an American League team that I may never forgive for losing to the Los Angeles Dodgers in last year’s World Series. Still, the A’s probably will be the best team to watch, baseball-wise, during this year’s spring training, if that’s…
You’d think that a ballclub with a name like “Brewers” would play in a place suited for rollicking good times. But Compadre Stadium, the spring field for the Milwaukee baseball team, is located in the wilds of exurban Chandler, Arizona, the national center for overbuilt subdivisions. And, as such, not…
I’m not about to get into the Tucson-Phoenix squabble, which seems to exist only because people in both places need to feel superior to someone, anywhere. It’s boring. Suffice it to say that people in Phoenix believe they’re superior to their counterparts in Tucson because we’ve got several semiprofessional sports…
An obscure zoning case over a west- side garbage dump has turned into a twisted version of David and Goliath, prompting Maricopa County officials to accuse El Mirage of a double-cross that wreaks havoc with the environment. The county is steamed over a deal paving the way for Browning-Ferris Industries…
After cheerfully quoting from the Bible and almost getting his lawyer thrown in jail for contempt, Roger M. Hammond, the television and radio personality Phoenix once knew as “Mr. Fix-It,” was convicted of murder and sentenced to twenty years in an Arkansas jail. A jury in the small town of…
You’ve just spent a hard day squinting at a VDT, your eyes feel like pinballs, your tongue feels like a fish, your car is either in the shop or it’s your don’t-drive-one-in-five day and you are, well, riding the bus. While rumbling along yet another street under construction, you happen…
Current job: Second baseman, Chicago Cubs. Cool because: Has won six straight Gold Gloves. Needs 73 more games at second base to qualify as the all-time leading second baseman in fielding percentage. Lifetime batting average of .284. Resides in Tempe during the off-season because: “When I was with the Phillies,…
Current job: Player-personnel senior adviser, Montreal Expos. Cool because: Hit .279 over fifteen years as a big-leaguer. Former Cubs manager. Scottsdale resident. First spring training: “I came here as a player in 1947 with the New York Giants. The Giants were in Phoenix, and the Cleveland Indians were in Tucson…
Current job: Sports columnist, Chicago Tribune. Cool because: Has covered the Cubs in spring training since 1959. Biggest change in spring training since then: “Well, I’ve just gotten older, that’s all.” Other changes: “There’s more people watching. The Cubs now draw as much for a workout as they used to…
Current jobs: Motivational speaker (thirty to forty appearances a year) and inventor (Big League Chew, bubble gum made to look like chewing tobacco, and Big League Cards, personalized baseball cards for regular people). “My latest invention is called Table to Go, and it’s a combination plate, tray and table. It…
Current jobs: Cubs broadcaster on WGN TV and radio. Budweiser salesman extraordinaire. Cool because: Cub fan, Bud man. Third, fourth, fifth and sixth favorite local restaurants: “I go upstairs to Gregory’s, I go to Don & Charlie’s, I go to the El Chorro across the street from the Mountain Shadows…
Current job: Executive recruiter for Mattel and Hasbro toy companies. Cool because: While working as an usher at Phoenix Municipal Stadium (“I quit my job to go to spring training one year, and I was living with a girl and she said if I didn’t get a job, I’d have…
