I don’t know why so many pregnant folks race to the nearest ultrasound machine the second their fetus is old enough to announce its gender. As far as I’m concerned, not knowing exactly what you’re getting is half the fun of pre-parenting. (The other half occurred during my wife’s final…
Mojo Nixon, currently, is God. He’s got a new record out that includes such bitchin’ songs as “Debbie Gibson Is Pregnant With My Two-Headed Love Chile,” he’s got a couple of videos on MTV, he’s got a major part in the new movie about Jerry Lee Lewis, and he’s going…
Because you find yourself in trouble, you go to see an attorney. For almost two years you pour your heart out, plot strategy and reveal your most secret fears and schemes. Then you discover that your attorney wore a body bug which transmitted the conversations between the two of you…
Build a better mousetrap and the world will beat a path to your door. Build a better clothes hanger and, well, you’d better hope the world has a compass, a four-wheel-drive vehicle and maybe even a can of javelina repellent. Actually, the man who hopes to revolutionize the country’s clothes…
Angel was preparing to join the dozen or so children who commit suicide each year in Arizona when someone heard her cry for help. At a moment when her despair was so deep that Angel felt as if the earth was closing over her, a stranger reached out and infused…
As long as our bad air holds out, the laser display planned for Patriots Square likely will be a great success. The park has been touted as a symbol of the Valley’s desire to build itself a high-tech industrial future. The flashy laser show will complete architect Ted Alexander’s bizarre…
Janette Kimble, one of three ultraconservative Glendale school board members targeted by a recall effort, has been accused of interfering with voters at the Glendale nursing home where she works. Two former county elections workers say Kimble attempted to prevent them from helping elderly residents at the Glencroft Retirement Community…
Get ready, big wheels. Five years have passed since the debut edition of Who’s Who in Arizona hit the streets. Now Scottsdale’s tiny Success Publishing Company has swung back into action, collecting the names of the heaviest hitters in the state. Sort of. If the last volume of the local…
When you write a newspaper column, some people automatically assume that you must know something. Incredible, I know, but it happens. To disprove this notion, I will now answer my reader mail. Q: My eighteen-month-old daughter takes long naps, goes to sleep early at night and still sleeps late. What…
“You folks don’t need another holiday. What you folks need are jobs,” said then-Governor Evan Mecham to Pastor Warren Stewart. The remark was made in 1986 during a meeting with black leaders who had gathered to persuade Mecham that Arizona needed a holiday to recognize Martin Luther King Jr. The…
Got a problem with the bank or company holding the mortgage on your house? Don’t count on Arizona’s Banking Department to help you out. Alan and Barbara Woodruff found that out the hard way. They bought an $89,000 home in Phoenix four years ago and assumed the mortgage, but soon…
I’m puzzled by this latest turn in Steve Benson’s career. Generally, I enjoy the images Benson draws for the Arizona Republic. He has a talented pen. He may even become a cartoonist of stature if and when he matures. To do that, however, Benson must stop his slavish imitations of…
Based on my son’s growth rate, his pediatrician estimates he’ll grow to be about six feet six or seven. This is not wonderful news. When I chose to become a parent, it never occurred to me that I might one day have to buy groceries for a Jolly Teen Giant…
Maybe Sam Steiger can appreciate the humor in the current mess at the state parole board. Governor Rose Mofford has fired board member Ron Johnson without pay. Ironically, Steiger tried to do the same thing to Johnson more than a year ago and almost went to jail for his efforts…
Why is Mayor Terry Goddard getting away with this ridiculous car race? Did anyone ask you about spending millions in taxpayers’ money for this slapdash project. The city has gone on a wartime footing to repave downtown streets, build garages and overpasses, and erect concrete sidewalk barriers. They couldn’t work…
There is much to be said about the arts in Arizona, and a lot of it isn’t kind. Too often, the productions and exhibitions that unfold before Arizonans’ eyes pander to a worn-out and pathetic sensibility. It’s the sensibility expressed recently by a community leader and member of the Phoenix…
While most business types in these parts are trying their best to lure jobs and people to Phoenix, there’s a new gadfly in the sticks south of here with a different goal: Drive a million people out of Arizona. Actually, 48-year-old Mark Acuff is no newcomer. He’s a third-generation Arizonan,…
About four times a year, Geri Owens rolls into Phoenix in a dusty gray van that’s practically exploding with yapping puppies. The pups, mostly golden retrievers and German shepherds, are future guide dogs for blind people. The dogs are owned by Guide Dogs for the Blind, Inc., a fifty-year-old San…
Sandi Smith had everything a career woman could want, including, at least until very recently, a penis. Born as a male, Sandi hasn’t been in a men’s room in two years. Her physical appearance is that of an early-middle-aged businesswoman. Throughout her transformation, she has continued to financially support her…
Here are some notes on the reporter’s trade from a few of the best. I.F. Stone speaking in Andrew Patner’s I.F. Stone: A Portrait: “Your publisher is a guy who made five million dollars in the toilet-paper business and thinks that made him a journalist and he doesn’t know from…
Of course Ollie North should go to prison. The jury has rightfully rejected North’s distorted notion that a decorated military man is above the law. North and his gang of squalid schemers were manipulative, secretive and intensely dishonest. In accepting an expensive security fence for his home from an arms…
Poor Gary Driggs, everyone keeps saying. Such a shame. Gary and his two brothers–John and Douglas–have been booted out of their soft spots as chief moneychangers at Western Savings and Loan. Sure, it’s true that Western has dropped $300 million in the last two quarters. But, after all, the Driggs…
