The Arizona Cardinals have a problem figuring out the tight end thing, as evidenced in the Cards’ 20-32 to the San Francisco 49ers yesterday.49ers tight end Vernon Davis caught eight passes for 180 yards and two touchdowns. Gee, who would’ve thought a team would try to throw to the tight…
Despite the fact that several NBA teams have taken the chance on Michael Beasley, he still proves to be a complete doofus no matter where he goes.Beasley, who was cut by the Phoenix Suns last month, is now a member of the Miami Heat (again), and spent a few seconds…
If you’ve watched the Arizona Cardinals this year, you know it hasn’t been pretty.However, the Cardinals have a winning record right now(just like they did last year, after a 4-0 start ended with a 5-11 record on the season)…
Carson Palmer threw three interceptions, the Cardinals couldn’t put together 100 rushing yards as a team, and Larry Fitzgerald only caught three passes, with no touchdowns.And the Cardinals won, 22-6…
Very important research has revealed that Arizona Cardinals fans are kind of weird.This research has discovered that about one-quarter of Arizona Cardinals fans believe their failure to perform some sort of game-day superstition has resulted in a Cardinals turnover. More Cardinals believe this than fans of any other team…
Arizona Cardinals fans will have to find someone new to blame every time Carson Palmer gets sacked.The team announced that left tackle Levi Brown has been traded to the Pittsburgh Steelers, pending Brown’s passing a physical.Although Brown was the fifth overall pick by the Cardinals in the 2007 draft, most…
It seems fairly clear at this point that human cloning would lead the Arizona Cardinals to a Super Bowl victory, with a roster of 53 Patrick Petersons.The Cardinals didn’t look good in their 13-10 victory Sunday against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, but wins all count the same, and Peterson played…
Not only did the Arizona Cardinals lose by 24 points this weekend to the New Orleans Saints — safety Rashad Johnson also lost about a quarter of the middle finger on his left hand.In Johnson’s honor, the team is working on a special foam finger, on a hand with approximately…
For Arizona Cardinals fans, waking up on Sundays in the fall is like Bill Murray waking up on February 2 in Groundhog Day.Even if you didn’t watch the Cardinals lose to the New Orleans Saints 31-7 yesterday, you’ve probably seen this game already — many times. See, Bill Murray eventually…
The Arizona Diamondbacks got a knockout punch straight in the kisser from the Los Angeles Dodgers (Los Doyers) yesterday.Not only did the Dodgers win the NL West title at Chase Field yesterday, but they also celebrated by jumping in the pool in right field — which is really a symbol…
The Arizona Cardinals earned their first win of the season yesterday, in a 25-21 win at home over the Detroit Lions.Larry Fitzgerald hardly played, while Calvin Johnson had 116 receiving yards and two touchdowns against the Cardinals defense, Carson Palmer threw a pick-six, and the Cardinals still managed to win…
The Phoenix Suns will be the most unwatchable team in the NBA, according to USA Today.Yes, that includes the Charlotte Bobcats and a team called the Pelicans…
If you planned on watching the Phoenix Suns this season, it might be time to make new plans.According to USA Today, the Suns will be the most unwatchable team in the NBA…
The Carson Palmer era for the Arizona Cardinals started off with a 24-27 loss to the St. Louis Rams. Yippee.Nearly all of the major problems with the Cardinals last year — a mostly incompetent offensive line, sub-par running game, poor tackling, bad pass defense, and general sucking — all returned…
The Arizona Cardinals are best in the league at something, and it’s certainly not offense, defense, or special teams.No, the Cards are the best in the league at avoiding being arrested…
The sale of the Phoenix Coyotes is a real thing.According to a press release from the team, “The Phoenix Coyotes announced today that IceArizona AcquisitionCo. LLC has closed on their purchase of the Phoenix Coyotes franchise from the National Hockey League. The sale and ownership transfer has been approved by…
The Arizona Diamondbacks announced that they’re adding a luchador as an official mascot of the team, and some people are poking fun at the move, naturally.We’re not sure if you’ve taken a look at the mascots around Major League Baseball recently, but a Mexican wrestler in a lucha libre mask…
The Spanish-language voice of the Arizona Diamondbacks was arrested after allegedly holding a knife to his wife’s throat at their Paradise Valley home.Miguel Quintana, 53, is in his 16th year doing play-by-play for the Spanish-language broadcasts of Diamondbacks games, was once the sports director for the local Univision station and…
Somehow, the Arizona Diamondbacks find themselves at the top of the NL West at the all-star break.Arizona has had its difficulties this year, including injuries to multiple starters, 24 games without a win by a starting pitcher, and bipolar play, in which the team will follow up a terrible series…
The Phoenix Coyotes (soon to be the Arizona Coyotes) are staying in Glendale.As has been the case every time it’s been said over the past few years that the Coyotes are staying, there are a few caveats…
The Arizona Diamondbacks’ relief pitching blew once again in Tuesday night’s 9-1 loss to the New York Mets…
The Arizona Diamondbacks officially have a crisis in the pitching department.Aside from Patrick Corbin, Wade Miley, and just a couple guys in the bullpen, Diamondbacks pitchers are costing the team win after win, including last night’s 13th-inning loss to the New York Mets at Citi Field…
