Audio By Carbonatix
We all have them. They’re the irresistible, mass produced, totally-bad-for-us food indulgences we just can’t give up.
Take a look back at the year in our most-read Guilty Pleasures.
See all of JK Grence’s Guilty Pleasures here.
Taco Bell Introduces Smothered Burrito. Enchirito Lovers, Rejoice!
The Guilty Pleasure: Smothered Burrito
Where To Get It: Taco Bell, locations nationwide
Price: $2.99 (or $3.99 with steak or chicken)
What It Really Costs: Dairy-induced heartburn.
Of all the fast food items I’ve seen, few have had the rabid following of Taco Bell’s cult classic Enchirito. I never understood the fuss over it. We have real enchiladas around here, why would I ever want a simulacrum?
I might not have been an Enchirito fan, but its lovers were legion. Taco Bell officially discontinued the Enchirito in 1993 (Twenty years ago! God, I feel old!). However, since all the ingredients were part of Taco Bell’s regular stock, many locations kept right on making them as though nothing ever happened. Then, in late 1999, the Enchirito officially went back on the menu. Read more here.
Burger King’s Satisfries: Do They Satisfy?
The (Sort Of) Guilty Pleasure: Satisfries
Where To Get It: Burger King, locations Valleywide
Price: $1.49 and up; 20 to 30 cents more than the regular fries depending on size.
What It Really Costs: Less damage than your average fry. Don’t eat more to compensate.
If there’s one practically universal thing about fast food, it’s that it’s not good for you in the slightest. The highly processed food (or in many cases, the highly processed substance that vaguely resembles food) doesn’t have much flavor, so it’s loaded with fat, salt, and sugar to compensate.
Almost every major fast food chain has a small selection of healthy-ish items to at least give a façade of sensible choices. Needless to say, most of these are blatant cop-outs. Salad from a drive-thru? Yeah, right! Bring on the burgers! Read more here.
Cheddar Bay Biscuit Mix from Red Lobster: As Good as the Real Thing?
The Guilty Pleasure: Red Lobster Cheddar Bay Biscuit Mix
Where To Get It: Your favorite grocery store
The Price: About $2.25 (plus a couple pantry staples)
What It Really Costs: Depends on your feelings about baking mixes (and partially hydrogenated oil).
If you’ve been reading my Guilty Pleasures articles for a while, you’ll know that I don’t find much pleasure in dinner at Red Lobster. The kitchen plays it too safe for my taste, churning out dishes that mainstream Americans adore, but just make me yawn. There is, however, one exception.
If you’ve been reading my Guilty Pleasures articles for a while, you’ll know that I don’t find much pleasure in dinner at Red Lobster. The kitchen plays it too safe for my taste, churning out dishes that mainstream Americans adore, but just make me yawn. There is, however, one exception.
It’s those Cheddar Bay Biscuits. Read more here.
McDonald’s New Mighty Wings: We Finally Landed an Order
The Guilty Pleasure: Mighty Wings
Where to Find It: McDonald’s; limited availability now, soon available everywhere
Price: About a buck per piece.
What it Really Costs: For most of metro Phoenix, time.
For a few weeks (possibly months) now, I’ve heard that McDonald’s has a new product on the way: Mighty Wings. They’re an odd duck (well, chicken) for McDonald’s, which popularized the chicken nugget, and (except for a brief period in the late 1960s) has always served only boneless chicken.
The Mighty Wings’ nationwide rollout was supposed to be September 9th. I beat feet down to my local Golden Arches on Monday, and… business as usual, no Mighty Wings. Blast.
But wait. This story has a happy ending. Read more here.
Jack in the Box’s Munchie Meals Barely Hide Stoner Marketing
The Guilty Pleasure: Jack’s Munchie Meals
Where to Get It: Jack in the Box, locations Valleywide
Price: $6.
What it Really Costs: Staggering amounts of calories, fat, and sodium. If you’re in the target demographic, you won’t care.
Jack in the Box doesn’t usually do much to advertise to folks who enjoy late-night recreation of the herbal variety. Granted, they don’t need to. Those two-for-99-cents tacos are quite the late-night munchie fix. And when it’s extra-late, it’s pretty much either Jack or your favorite Something-berto’s.
Now, Jack is going all-out with Jack’s Munchie Meals. Ads feature obviously stoned relaxed guys on a bachelor pad sofa, talking to a puppet version of the Jack spokesperson. As a clever marketing ploy, the meals are available only from 9 p.m. to 5 a.m.. But that begs the question: Who the hell would order one of these in broad daylight? Read more here.
