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Eric Schaefer’s KFC Haiku (Yes, You Read That Right) and More Tonight at “FRIED” at Crescent Ballroom

If you can't stand the heat -- get in the kitchen. Tonight, Thursday, June 13, at 6 p.m. at the Lounge at Crescent Ballroom, Chow Bella writers are warming up for summer with "Fried," an evening of true stories. Admission is free; food and drink will be available for sale...
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If you can’t stand the heat — get in the kitchen. Tonight, Thursday, June 13, at 6 p.m. at the Lounge at Crescent Ballroom, Chow Bella writers are warming up for summer with “Fried,” an evening of true stories. Admission is free; food and drink will be available for sale.

And now, Eric Schaefer’s ode to KFC, in haiku.

Thank you Bluegrass State
For birthing Colonel Sanders.
KFC, my muse.

(Keep going. There’s more)

See also:
Don & Charlie’s: Eric Schaefer’s Comfort Food

My guilty pleasure.
I want to run for cover
Shameful, embarrassed.

Golden brown, crispy.
You entice me like a drug.
Salty, delicious.

Eating it alone,
In my pajamas I gorge,
Thankful for drive-thru.

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My p.j.’s covered
In crumbs, grease, and some coleslaw.
Mashed potatoes, too.

Solo late-night run.
I eat alone, in my car.
The night cloaks my shame.

Forgo the white meat.
Chicken thighs are heaven-sent.
Healthy? Kiss my ass.

Wings, extra-crispy.
This chicken never could fly.
Higher calling, now.

Related

I’ve lost my street cred
With the foodie elitists.
This is who I am.

Red and white bucket
My lifespan is now cut short
Arteries closing.

Grilled, roasted, or baked
A complete waste of my time.
Chicken should be fried.

Bloated from the salt,
Call my cardiologist
KFC, worth it.

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