So how does one get in? UPDATE: You don't. Mr. Alan just sent us an e-mail stating that they're past capacity and outta room, which means you're outta luck...at least until next Friday.
Check out the 411 below on all the ugdet bashes and other low-cost ways to while away the weekend. (And if you're still at a loss as to what to do tonight, be sure to peruse our rundown of what's on tap for First Friday).
FauxShow Friday Night VIP Party at Sanctum (Friday)
If you wanna to gain access to this secretive soiree (which you can read about on fauxShow's Facebook page) e-mail the promoter, but be quick about it as only 200 peeps will be admitted. Alan and Goldsmith will provide the beats. 9 p.m. (4343 N. 7th Street)
Anniversary Party at Hanny's (Friday)
Speaking of happening hootenannies, this chic downtown Phoenix swanketeria opened 12 months ago and is feting the occasion in style with a First Friday celebration. The DJ trio of Josh One, Mark 5, and bartender Shane Hiner will provide a little triple-team action during their 2x4 set while spinning up "an eclectic mash-up smokin' rare grooves and urban funk" on a quartet of record decks. Meanwhile, there will also be drink specials aplenty coming from the bar, including $6 Dewar's, $5 classic martinis created with Smirnoff or Beefeater, and $5 Bacardi Silver and Sauza beverages. 7 p.m., free (40 N. 1st St., 602-252-2285)
Pretty Young Things at Majerle's (Friday)
Former Shake! spinsters Prince $$, Disco Tex, and Funkfinger are nothing if not expeditious. Less than a week after the finale of their former night, the turntable trio are debuting a brand new party at Dan Majerle's downtown Phoenix sports bar. This monthly affair, which will take place every First Friday, also features plenty of bubbles and girly cocktails. 9 p.m. (24 N. 2nd St., 602-253-9004)
Barred for Life Book Tour at Jugheads (Saturday)
Prepare yourself: The absolutely fabulous and over-the-top gay tribute to Black Flag is about to take over Jugheads. They're in town for the Barred for Life book tour and are encouraging Black Flag fans with tattoos of their infamous black bars logo to show up and be photographed for said tome. The Tight Holes and Barred for Life open the show. 8 p.m., $8. (5011 E. McDowell Rd., 602-275-1039).
Certified Local Fall Festival at Duck and Decanter (Saturday)
If you've provided an alternative to soulless megacorporate retail since 2005, have you gone "establishment"? Local First Arizona's Certified Local Fall Festival turns kindergarten-age on Saturday, but if they're The Man, we dig it. The party includes scads of local-centric indie vendors, free food samples, craft activities for kids, and live music all day in the plaza around Duck and Decanter. Not enticed yet? How about Middle Eastern dance performances, a beer and wine garden, bouncy castle, and rock-climbing wall? And (our fave) shopping for gifts you can pretty much guarantee no one will get two of? 10 a.m.-4 p.m., free. (1651 E. Camelback Rd., 602-274-5429) -- Julie Peterson
The Music of John Cage at Phoenix Urban Research Laboratory (Saturday)
If you've ever dismissed John Cage's 4'33'' white-noise study as the musical equivalent of "my 5-year-old can do that," then you're just jealous that you didn't think of it first. It was all part of Cage's brilliance in composing his "process pieces" during the 1950s and 1960s. The chance-taking style was influenced by the classic Chinese text I Ching and featured instruments such as piano, tin cans, and phonograph. On Saturday, Crossing 32nd Street and members of the Glendale Community College Percussion Ensemble perform some of these works in downtown Phoenix. 7:30 p.m., free (234 N. Central Ave., 480-965-9011) -- Steve Jansen
STREB: Brave at Herberger Theater Center (Saturday)
Elizabeth Streb has been called the Evel Knievel of dance, and she clearly wants the white-knuckle excitement of daredevil stunts in her modern dance works, especially STREB: Brave. The celebrated choreographer called on renowned trapeze artists Noe and Ivan España to prime her dancers and composer David Van Tiegham to provide a sonic backdrop. The MIT Media Lab concocted a rotating stage and hulking mechanical pieces bent on challenging performers to reorient themselves as they relentlessly explore perpetual motion and circular movement. 8 p.m., $5-$10. (222 E. Monroe St., 602-252-7399) -- Jose Gonzalez
Jerry Colangelo at Borders Books & Music (Saturday)
Whether you love him or hate him, Valley sports fanatics definitely oughta give Jerry Colangelo his due. Not only did the bombastic sports executive (and former czar of both the Suns and Diamondbacks) help bring about the Purple and Orange Gang's memorable 1993 playoff run, he also opened his wallet and bought, er...brought our town its only major league sports championship when the D-Backs conquered the Yankees in the 2001 World Series. Relive those glory days when Jerry signs and discusses sportswriter Dan Bickley's new book, The Return of the Gold: The Journey of Jerry Colangelo and the Redeem Team at the Biltmore Borders location. 1 p.m., free. (2402 E. Camelback Rd., 602-957-6660)
Totally Michael and guests at Rhythm Room (Sunday)
Three different bands, three disparate takes on how to mix electronica into their eclectic sound palettes. Indiana two-piece Totally Michael blends electro with indie pop sound in such upbeat hits as "Casual Satisfaction" and "Winona." Meanwhile, Texas trio Best Fwends adds in keyboard and drum-machine weirdness to their guttural punk wailings; and SoCal one-man act Wizwars features a portly fellow who creates Nintendo-like 8-bit epics using a circuit-bent Gameboy. 8 p.m., $8. (1019 E. Indian School Rd., 602-265-4842)
Keep Phoenix New Times Free... Since we started Phoenix New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Phoenix, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Phoenix with no paywalls.