I used to look forward to the arrival of Shark Week like it was a new Hatebreed album release -- amped up and eager for new material and bloodshed. Unfortunately, after a couple years of tuning in, I realized that the masterminds behind the programming didn't really care to bring fresh perspective and stories into the game -- they were doing fine selling the recycled Shark Week content over and over again. Which, ironically, is pretty much how I felt about Hatebreed's two 2009 albums.
It may be a long shot, but I personally think that shark and heavy metal go hand-in-hand. They are both aggressive predators known for being man-eaters and a source of fascination and terror for millions. The theme from Jaws helped inspire horror movie scores for years to come, there's been a wealth of horror movies about sharks with metal soundtracks, and we can't discount the recent D-list made-for-TV movie Sharknado.
This film created an incredible buzz in horror fan subculture, word is the sequel will have some heavy metal involved, and it's hard to say whether the action in this terrible movie might possibly be more engaging than the old hat Shark Week content that we've seen so many times.
In fact, maybe I should donate some of my Hatebreed albums to the sharks. No -- seriously. According to the Australian news outlet ABC, a tour operator in Neptune Bay discovered that when he played AC/DC through underwater speakers attached to his diving cages, great white sharks became "more investigative, more inquisitive and a lot less aggressive." He even said that there were a couple occasions when the sharks rubbed their faces along the speaker. Apparently, the sharks favored "You Shook Me All Night Long" and "Back in Black" the most, and they are actually using the music instead of bait to lure sharks to the cages. Huh. What a bunch of groupies.
According to researchers, the sharks dig the frequency and vibration in the water that the heavier music produces. That just upped my desire to go shark diving even more, or else wait until they develop shark moshing. Just make sure to aim for the toothy behemoth's nose when you throw a punch.
It might possibly provoke them to show us some fresh vigor for next year's carnivorous carnival, even though the word on the street is that this year's Shark Week is revamped with loads of new content and such intriguing segment titles as "Voodoo Sharks" and "Megalodon: The Monster Shark Lives." Maybe playing some metal will even inspire one of those disgusting great white orgies. Speaking of the band Great White (and orgies), Shark Week's kick-off on the Discovery Channel last night is what inspired this week's Metal Mondays, a list of favorite heavy metal album covers that celebrate those head bangers under the sea.
Spinal Tap, Shark Sandwich
Victimizer, The Final Assault
Facelift, State of the Art
The Beyond, Crawl
Swollen, The Breathless Waiting
M.O.D., Gross Misconduct
Wehrmacht, Shark Attack
Wehrmacht, Fast as a Shark Attack (EP)
Faith No More, The Very Best Definitive Ultimate Greatest Hits Collection
Dead at the Scene, Sharktopus
Alex Masi, Attack of the Neon Shark
Early Man, Beware of the Circling Fin (EP)
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And last but certainly not least....Bitchslicer, Sex with Sharks
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