Andy Rourke of The Smiths Is A Wanker If He Stands Me Up Again

Stop me if you think you've heard this one before: After Thanksgiving, I was so bloated from overindulgence, I overslept and missed an opportunity to make a Zia Records run. My friends came over and presented me with a postcard gift.

Andy Rourke of the THE SMITHS spinning... somewhere. I couldn't read where, I was so infuriated.

Do you know how many times I have fallen for this exact stunt? Three times, actually. THREE TIMES. Twice in NYC and once in Scottsdale. All three times, I went to the bar at the appointed time. Not once has Andy shown up.

I know that people in bands I like often DJ and actually show up to spin, like Peter Hook of New Order, so usually it isn't a hoax. But with Andy is always has been. Please, please, please: How hard is it to show up to a venue with YOUR music, with people waiting and willing to hear the music YOU like? Although I cannot stomach being duped a fourth time, like any good fan, I'm going to the Ruby Room on Friday Dec. 12 at 8 p.m. Mountain Standard Time.

Each time he stood us up, my friends and I were given a myriad of excuses on behalf of Andy Rourke. So I have made a list of things Andy can do to make sure he attends.

1. Have someone wake you up. I don't care how hard you sleep.
2. Have someone with you to make sure you won't forget.
3. Hire a driver to get your ass there.
4. If you are wasted, I don't care how wasted you are, go to step number 3.

In regards to Andy Rourke, the first time I went to hear him spin, to be polite to him I wasn't even going to request a Smiths song. The second time, I decided I was. The third time, I was only going to request Morrissey songs. Now, the fourth time (if he is there), I will request "Lips Like Sugar" by The Smiths, along with "Just Like Heaven" or "Fascination Street" by The Smiths. Maybe even "Where The Streets Have No Name" by The Smiths.

Even though I am going, I am now going just to hang out with friends at The Ruby Room, a lounge I like, and if Andy Rourke shows up I'll consider it a bonus. If he does show up, I don't care that he was in The Smiths, he should be hazed like any tosser should. --Peter Storch

Photo from Epiphone, where Andy apparently showed up to play a guitar. On flickr you can also find some shots of him DJing - so apparently he does deign to grace some locales with his presence.

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Martin Cizmar
Contact: Martin Cizmar