Music News

Best News Day Ever

Pacific Coast News
Happier Times
Lefties get the House, maybe the Senate, Rumsfeld resigns, but even better than that - Britney filed for divorce!! Ordinarily I stick to BS-ing about local music steez up in this piece, but I had to pass on the fantastic news that Britney Spears is ditching K-Fed, leaving him free to pursue his nefarious goal of impregnating all of Los Angeles (last time I was in LA he tried to knock me up, an experience shared by my homey Daggrr of Army of Robots). According to TMZ.com, Brit filed her papers yesterday, asking for custody of the Spears-Federline spawn. I'm sure male voices across the nation are echoing my roommate's exclamation, "Finally, she's mine...." now that Brit's returned to her former hot-as-shit physique. Rednecks rejoice! Wish I had an MP3 of "Hit Me Baby" to throw up here, but alas, I better avoid copyright infringement while Britney's getting all legal on people's asses.

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Brendan Kelley