Pacific Coast News
Happier Times

Best News Day Ever

Lefties get the House, maybe the Senate, Rumsfeld resigns, but even better than that - Britney filed for divorce!! Ordinarily I stick to BS-ing about local music steez up in this piece, but I had to pass on the fantastic news that Britney Spears is ditching K-Fed, leaving him free to pursue his nefarious goal of impregnating all of Los Angeles (last time I was in LA he tried to knock me up, an experience shared by my homey Daggrr of Army of Robots). According to

, Brit filed her papers yesterday, asking for custody of the Spears-Federline spawn. I'm sure male voices across the nation are echoing my roommate's exclamation, "Finally, she's mine...." now that Brit's returned to her former

hot-as-shit physique

. Rednecks rejoice! Wish I had an MP3 of "Hit Me Baby" to throw up here, but alas, I better avoid copyright infringement while Britney's getting all legal on people's asses.


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