Audio By Carbonatix
America wants to be close to Jay-Z and Beyonce. Desperately close. Hashtag close. Because they are officially the last celebrities who have not turned their life together into a weekly show on Bravo, they’ve hoovered up the country’s remaining supply of Camelot-style mythos and gravitas. And because it’s 2013, the result is an intense desire to name their child with hashtags.
Beyonce is pregnant again, and #BeyonceBabyNames returned to Twitter with a vengeance on Friday, after a year and a half off. The best part about it is that right now it seems like half of the tweeters are making jokes and the other half just really want to give Beyonce an adorable baby name to use on Blue Ivy’s sibling. Here are our 10 favorite examples (so far.) Feel free to use any of them yourself, in case Beyonce (for some reason) doesn’t.
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This one almost sounds too much like a name. I’m going to need something a little more ridiculous, if you don’t mind.
Okay, there it is.
Meanwhile, Scott L. (“Proud geek, wino, runner, auto enthusiast, atheist, and raving liberal”) locks down the part of the Venn diagram where #BeyonceBabyNames and #CharlesDickensCharacterNames meet.
This one was so immediately and obviously right that a bunch of people took credit for it.
And I’m not sure who would sue whom for this one.
Okay, this just isn’t how hashtags work.
That’s better. (Except that one’s taken.)
Having read the Major Major Major Major section of Catch-22 I’m not sure this one is a good idea.
Well, sure. Maybe!
