Music Industry

Britney Spears' New Single Perfectly Explains Why Miley Cyrus Is So Creepy

I don't think anyone will be shocked by this admission, but I'll make it: I don't like Britney Spears or Miley Cyrus very much. (Aside from that Notorious B.I.G. mashup from a few years ago.) They are not really gyrating in my demographic's direction. But Britney Spears has a new single out--finally--and I was a little surprised when her millionth attempt to shock and titillate, "Work Bitch," finally helped me understand what's so creepy about The New Miley Cyrus.

... Which is not to say it's any good. She's sing-talking in an unplaceable commonwealth accent, for some reason, and if you're not already drunk and dancing when it comes on I'm not sure it will compel you to start. (Dancing, I mean.) But it explains the distinction between them perfectly: Britney Spears is convincing when she makes these calculated attempts to kind-of-offend people. It sounds like she wants to do it because that's just what she likes to do.

Everything about Miley Cyrus' bad-girl turn has looked not just calculated but false, and weird--whether she's grinding on a foam finger or hanging naked from a wrecking ball, she always looks a little like someone has a gun to her head and is shouting "More! More twerking!"

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Dan Moore