Captain Squeegee and Friends Are Going to Save the World

See also: Captain Squeegee Teams with MCC's Big Band Tonight See also: Sun Ghost, Captain Squeegee on Ron Paul See also: Captain Squeegee Member Says "9/11 Was an Inside Job" on Chemtrails Dubstep Song

How much cash would you shell out if it meant saving the world from its impending doom? Twelve bucks? How about $10? In case you haven't noticed, there are only 120 days left in the Mayan calendar year so you better start thinking about it.

In the meantime, quirky metaphysical horn-rockers Captain Squeegee, along with friends The Veragroove, Inept Hero, Instructions, Clairevoyant, and Terragaia, are launching a preemptive effort to do what no band has done before -- gather enough psychic energy to save the planet through song, dance, and retro-psychic kinesis.

And we're off!

"It's obvious now that in the Phoenix scene, there are just killer bands ... so the six of us are coming together basically to have this zany, awesome out-of-this world performance that Phoenix doesn't usually get to see," says Squeegee frontman Danny Torgersen. "The whole point is really just to have a cacophony of local bands coming together for a themed, epic, local, huge show."

The event, billed as "2012: Phoenix Saves The World," is scheduled for Saturday, August 25, at the Marquee Theatre and will feature some experimental interactive media, mind-altering graphic projections, and even a pendulum that the audience can control with their mind according to Torgersen. And if that's not enough to get you jazzed about planet saving, the six bands will also be coming together like Voltron to form one super band for a special performance of R.E.M.'s "It's the End of the World as We Know It."

"We just want to try stuff that just doesn't get tried," Torgersen says. "We're in this new technological age -- that may destroy us -- but as long as we're doing that stuff we're going to try and integrate it." Along with the "End of the World" theme, Captain Squeegee is also unveiling two new songs that night, as well as two new band members.

Here are the ways they plan to save the world with their show:

1) In case of an alien invasion, we've invited representatives from multiple hostile alien races, to prove to them we shouldn't be invaded or eradicated.

2) In case of tsunamis, volcanic eruptions or hurricanes, we will prove to mother earth with our beautiful music and positive gathering that she should refrain from drowning us in fire or water.

3) In case of a new world order takeover, the event will show the evil illuminati conspiracy how far we've come and convince them not depopulate the planet.

4) In case of comet or asteroid, we will rock so hard from Earth, that all dangerous comets will explode instantaneously.

5) And in case of The Rapture, God will enjoy our concert so much that he will allow humanity to continue as we are, and party as we do.

But there is still no saving us from solar flares or zombies. -- Danny Torgersen

Tickets at the door will go for $12 but you can get a $10 presale discount by emailing tickets@captainsqueegee.com. "The more presale tickets we sell, the more likely the show will save the world, I think," Torgersen says.

Unless you know something we don't know, you better start busting out those credit cards.

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