Music News

Critical Fatwa

All hail the mighty compact disc! That piece of technology that let you listen to OK Computer without having to sit through "Fitter Happier." While we know that no audio format lives forever -- someday the CD will ascend to take its place next to hallowed eight-track cassettes -- that day has not come yet. That is why we must fatwa The Sun, and its label Warner Bros., for the new album Blame It on the Youth.

Youth is available on vinyl and DVD only, making it unplayable on a CD player . . . and they have the gall to advertise this as if it were a good thing! A harlot might as well advertise her open sores as lubricant! They think us fools. We have not forgotten that packaging a CD and DVD together, an all-but-common practice today, adds little to the price. Could it be that the special DVD files -- which can theoretically be ripped into WAV files and burned, if you have the technology to do it -- are easier to track on the Internet? Could it be that the advantages of this system are not for the listener, but instead for the record company? Is it possible that a record company could put greed first? Does Courtney Love puke in the woods?

Fatwa! May remainder bins overflow with this album! May it be used as coasters by those who accidentally acquire it. May The Sun reap what it sows.

It is written.

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The Ayatollah of Rock