Nerd Culture

Cyndi Lauper Is Kicking Ass and Taking Names on Celebrity Apprentice

If you're anything like me, you really enjoy watching trashy television, but hate admitting it in public. I've decided to blow my cover for the sake of Cyndi Lauper.

I've been watching Celebrity Apprentice in quasi-secret. For two hours every Sunday night, we all have the opportunity to watch celebs plan elaborate marketing schemes for already well-known companies, in order to raise money for charities they support.

While much of the show involves watching these celebrities pull out their "rolodex" (a.k.a. cell phone contact list) and beg their high-brow friends to donate to a cause, they are also forced into bizarre situations where they must take it to the streets. They're forced to interact with the people -- the common people -- and simultaneously create ad campaigns for multimillion-dollar companies in about 48 hours.

This season features several notables from the music industry, including Sharon Osbourne, Bret Michaels, and my personal favorite, Cyndi Lauper. All three of the rockers are among the six remaining contestants.

This week, the teams had to create jingles for a home repair company that has three divisions -- an electrical, a heating and air conditioning, and a plumbing. That means that both Cyndi Lauper and Bret Michaels had to sing songs about home repair.

The week before, the teams had to create a workout, and teach it at a gym. For each participant, they had to have a donation. What this meant was that the star-studded cast got their associates to donate money. The problem is that people with thousands of dollars to donate at a moment's notice (Lauper even got Lady Gaga to kick in a huge chunk of change) don't often have time to stop in on a workout class. So the stars had to stand on the street and literally beg people to come inside and take a free workout class with them. While the Bret Michaels/Sharon Osbourne team had almost no trouble recruiting people for their concert themed workout, which included moves like "the flasher," and the "tour bus thrust," Lauper's team had a little more difficulty. She actually stopped people in midtown Manhattan, asked them if they'd come workout with her for free, and got blown off. Several times.

Who the hell says no when Cyndi Lauper asks them to work out?

What's really interesting though, is to see how the rockstars behave in the board room. Somehow Cyndi has become a target for her teammates. Her strong will and outspoken nature coupled with her thick Queens accent and incredible fashion sense make her a little bit harder to blend in and go with the flow. It's not in her blood. She's especially had a lot of friction with former WWE Diva Maria Kanellis and actress Holly Robinson Peete. While Robinson Peete just yells the opposite of whatever Lauper has to say at the moment, Kanellis actually told her that she was a disappointment from the childhood idol she had expected to meet.

Even though Lauper's taken the brunt of the criticism, and told off celebrity chef Curtis Stone, I can't help but love how she tells it like it is every single time. And the minute that she thinks she may have offended someone, she stops whatever she's doing to apologize to them immediately. But she never shies away from the truth.

We'll see if one of our rock 'n' roll celebs wins out over the rest. But my money's on Cyndi.

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Sarah Ventre