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Disco Stars of Yore Make Us Lose Our Lunch on 'Idol'

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So let's get it out of the way at the beginning so we can move on to more pressing matters: Anoop Desai and Lil Rounds got kicked off Idol last night, and it was kind of sad to see them go, but nobody can say it was surprising, right? I would really have liked to see Matt Giraud go in place of Anoop, but Anoop really only had one more week left in him anyway, and Lil has been clinging on for dear life for the past few weeks. More than anything, though, I'll be sad not to see the completely adorable Mr. and Mrs. Desai in the audience every week. Single tear.

But more importantly: What the eff was up with the "entertainment" portion of the results show?

Now, having been a guest at many a bar mitzvah in my time, I can get behind "Get Down Tonight" from KC and the Sunshine Band. But the train wreck that was last night's disco medley--performed by has-been disco stars--was enough to make me permanently ban "Get Down Tonight," "Band of Gold" and "Don't Leave Me This Way" from any future cheesy party playlists.

"Band of Gold" singer Freda Payne used her last name to good effect with both her performance and the skin-tight dress she wore. She was out of breath after about 30 seconds from trying to work the stage, and the rest of the song was out of key and gaspy. It's a shame, because this is actually a classic song that Ms. Payne once sang the crap out of.

Thelma Houston sang "Don't Leave Me This Way" whilst sporting the blond version of her hair, in tribute to Counting Crows' Adam Duritz, and the dress version of her tribute to Big Bird.

And KC. Ooooh, KC. I really don't even know where to start with you, honey. The too-tight red shirt, the off-key singing, the cheesy backup dancers--it was all enough to make a sister never want to shake her booty again. Also, where the hell was the Sunshine Band? Are you too good for your band, KC? ARE YOU??

The whole thing was simultaneously embarrassing and hilarious, and I simultaneously wanted to reach for the barf bag and also press "record" on the VCR so I'd be able to watch it over and over again. It was very confusing.

Also confusing was Season 7 also-ran David Archuleta, who sang his single "Touch My Hand." I was a big fan of Archuleta's last season, and I hope he does well in the industry, but if that performance was any indication, I think little Archie might be in for some problems. It's OK though, I'm sure his father will be supportive and kind when Idol bloggers rip him a new one. Right?

The one bright spot of the evening was the group dance number choreographed by Paula Abdul and performed to Michael Jackson's "Shake Your Body (Down to the Ground)." It was awesomely cheesy and the disco outfits were not doing anybody any favors, i.e. were completely kick-ass. All the dudes looked like they just came off the set of a 70s porno, which of course made Paula even more giddy during the performance. I only wish I only wish I could have avoided Gokey shaking his junk down to the ground, but such are the job hazards of an Idol blogger.

Word has it that next week's theme is jazz standards, which will probably serve all the remaining contestants well. Especially curious to see Allison and Adam.

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