Local Wire

Eagles of Death Metal

". . . Holy shit, this is some good shit, man [cough, cough]. The hydro-fuckin'-ponic, dude! Oh, duuude, I almost forgot, man, you gotta check out this band, right . . . what? Oh, I'm watchin' Aqua Teen Hunger Force, man [cough, cough]. It's a marathon -- sweet, right? Yeah, I'll turn it down, hang on . . . okay, I'm back. So dude, check it out, you know Queens of the Stone Age, right? Okay, so that tall red-headed dude, you know, the singer dude? He's in some new band called, check it out, Eagles of Death Metal! Yeah, man! They ain't really death metal, tho' -- they're all like raw-ass garage rock and KISS and the Stones and shit [cough, hack]. It's killer, man. Oh, here's the best part -- that dude doesn't even sing -- he plays drums, right, and he's got some fake fuckin' mustache and goes by Carlo Von Sexron. How fuckin' cool is that? Shit, my phone's dyin' . . . but they're playin' here in a couple days. You wanna check it out? Yeah? Sweeeeeeeet! [hack, spluurrgghhhh]"

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