Finally, a Christmas Sweater That Says "Kill Your Mother Rape Your Dog" on It

Any true heavy metal fan can attest to the fact that the worlds of fashion and heavy metal should never go hand-in-hand -- but this day and age, selling out and heading mainstream is only becoming more prevalent.

So years back, when a handful of heavy metal bands began releasing Christmas sweaters, it didn't bother me too much. I mean, what family gathering couldn't benefit from a holiday outfit bedecked in inverted crosses and skulls?

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Lauren Wise has worked as a rock/heavy metal journalist for 15 years. She contributes to Noisey and LA Weekly, edits books, and drinks whiskey.
Contact: Lauren Wise