Despite the fact that heavy music is experiencing a renaissance, with diverse bands like Converge, Baroness, Torche, and Mastodon raising the bar artistically while nipping at the heels of the mainstream, it's bands like Five Finger Death Punch that still have a stranglehold on modern-rock and heavy metal radio stations. It's no accident: The band's sound is a cut-and-paste sampling of everything going on in hard rock. There are enough breakdowns to satisfy the hardcore kids, blazing leads to keep the attention of the old-school thrash fans, and most important to their success, plenty of baritone vocals, melodic enough to please fans of Nickelback and Three Doors Down. That's right, FFDP play the perfect storm of douchebag rock, the kind of down-tuned, mindlessly aggressive, fifth-grade-reading-level junk that's ruled the radio since the advent of Limp Bizkit. People have to vent, I suppose, but even if the idea of cheap therapy doesn't inspire tossing on your best Ed Hardy and going to the Marquee to experience the band live, keep in mind that the first 100 ladies get in free. Bring your girlfriend, or at least invite your mom in when she drops you off.