Five Songs in Honor of Shark Week: You’re Going to Need a Bigger Boombox

Between the season premiere of Breaking Bad and the debut of Netflix's Orange Is the New Black, there already are plenty of reasons to stay glued to the television, but Discovery Channel did everyone one better by kicking off Shark Week on Monday. We really wouldn't blame you if you...
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Between the season premiere of Breaking Bad and the debut of Netflix’s Orange Is the New Black, there already are plenty of reasons to stay glued to the television, but Discovery Channel did everyone one better by kicking off Shark Week on Monday.

We really wouldn’t blame you if you don’t get anything else done this week. But commercials can get pretty boring, so here are five songs to get you stoked about Shark Week between partially fictionalized documentaries.

Gallows- In the Belly of a Shark
So here I lie in the belly of a shark
So fucking cold and so fucking dark
So here I lie in the belly of a shark
And how the fuck did I get this far?

This seems like a pretty accurate assessment of what someone would think as they wait to be digested by a great white . . . after a series of “oh god, oh god, I’m going to die, oh fuck(s),” of course.

The singer is pretty pissed, so much so that he’s encouraging someone 40 miles away to jump in the water with an open wound.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AqLwCSv6F7Q

Yo La Tengo — Season of the Shark
The Zombies’ “Time of the Season” is pretty representative of the summer, giving Yo La Tengo a week to shine and share the spotlight with Jaws. Once the guy from Gallows finishes freaking out, he can take solace in Ira Kaplan assuring us to not be afraid.

Bouncing Souls — Shark Attack
This is a cautionary tale about “those fucking Jersey mooches” eating all of your food. Perhaps it could extend to sharks as well — who knows, Big Macs could become a viable alternative to noshing on fish.

Related

Brand New – Jaws Theme Swimming
This song has nothing to do with Jaws or swimming, but the chorus has an urgency that matches the feeling of a shark approaching. We have no idea what makes a body “leak like a sieve,” but for the sake of Shark Week, we can pretend that Jesse Lacey is likening heartbreak to getting attacked by a shark.

John Williams – – Main Title and the First Victim
As much as we love to laugh about The Bouncing Souls devouring pizza like sharks, the Jaws theme has got to be number one. We could have told you to rock out to Great White or Bear vs. Shark, but Williams’ iconic score is still the definitive shark song 38 years later. Plus, you can probably scare the crap out of your roommates (or at the very least make them laugh) by playing this during a quiet moment.

Read More: John Williams’ Five Most Iconic Scores

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