4
| Lists |

Five Songs That Chronicle the Salt River Tubing Experience

^
Keep New Times Free
I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Phoenix and help keep the future of New Times free.

No matter how many times you've stated the contrary, you will more than likely find yourself on a black buoyant tube floating along Salt River's murky waters this summer. You will drink copious amounts of alcohol, forget to apply sun block on at least 13 percent of your body, and you will lose at least one shoe. There's no way around it. It's a statistical inevitability.

Well, what if God had installed Wi-Fi speakers in all of us and you could rock your own soundtrack anywhere you went? Would it make tubing worth while again? We think so.

5. "Hash Pipe" by Weezer
The driving riff of this song is the right amount of aggression to start the trip out to the river. It even sounds like you're chilling at Santa Monica pier. You've got the windows down, you're bobbing your head, and you're snarling right along with singer Rivers Cuomo. You're gonna do some damage today.

4. "Going Out West" by Tom Waits

: Still pumped from the drive in and the beer you shot gunned, the first jab to all of that built up optimism is thrown when you take that first step off of the cattle bus. Cue Tom Waits. His gritty voice is reminiscent of all those tiny granules of stone that will eventually be embedded into some part of your body. You survey the rocky terrain ahead of you, looking for the path of least resistance, and push through just like the beat of this tune.

3. "Bon, Bon" by Pitbull
The big payoff. You've floundered around in knee high goop trying your best to play Boy Scout with pieces of twine, and you are now ready to relax and start throwing them back "for reals." This internationally inspired track provides the energy boost you need to get your shake on. Nobody gets a party started like Mr. Worldwide.

2. "She Rides" by Danzig
Now that inhibitions are out the window, it's time to let loose. James King reported last month how lovely ladies of the pole are able to take their act out of stuffy strip clubs and onto the river. If floating stripper poles are going to be used, Danzig needs to be standing on top of some cliff side singing, "She'll take you down/She'll take you /She'll take you around." (Video NSFW)

1. "Welcome to the Jungle" by Guns N' Roses
By now, two hours have passed and at least one case of beer (along with other boozy concoctions) have been downed. It's been a great ride so far, but now the Arizona sun is having her way with you and there's no turning back. None of that matters now. You came to party, after all. So embrace the pain, because you know where you are? You're on the river, baby.


Keep Phoenix New Times Free... Since we started Phoenix New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Phoenix, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Phoenix with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.

 

Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Phoenix.

 

Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Phoenix.