Nerd Culture

Geek Beat: Late Night Sex Scenes Sizzle, Fizzle

When it comes to "stoking the fires of passion," men have porn and women have authors like Diana Gabaldon. Yeah, yeah, we know that there are plenty of women who find some manner of porn -- whether it be Internet smut, Debbie Does Dallas or Penthouse letters -- enticing, and at least a handful of men who order romance novels from Amazon under the guise that they're for the wife slash girlfriend they don't actually have. But twice as many men prefer visual erotica (according to a 2000 MSNBC study), while women are more likely than men to enjoy their sexytime aids with a little dialogue. And "Oh, baby give it to me" doesn't exactly count.

So it was no shocker to see a room packed with guests of the female persuasion at last night's "Late Night Sex Scenes with Diana Gabaldon" event at the Poisoned Pen bookstore in Scottsdale. The advertisement specified BYOB and "wear your best lingerie." So, naturally we were expecting a grown-up pajama party of sorts with women in satin nightgowns and lace robes, drinking champagne and eating chocolates while listening to Gabaldon's erotic sex scenes. That part was a BUST. A very respectable-looking (sigh!) crowd turned up in regular clothes, with only two brave souls in anything resembling actual sleepwear. Clearly, all of the Scottsdale blondes in tight bustiers and barely-there slip dresses were over at Devil's Martini or Myst.

he night was saved from snoozeworthiness by Diana Gabaldon herself, who showed up in a gorgeous purple kimono robe and charmed the audience with bawdy true tales and tittilating portions of her upcoming novel, Echo in the Bone. To give you an idea, when Gabaldon submitted a manuscript to her UK publishers, they asked her to change one sex scene to make it appear that the two characters were having "normal sex" instead of, er, "drilling for oil." When Gabaldon asked why, the woman replied, "Of course we all do that. But we don't like to admit that we do."      

More steamy sex after the jump... 

Chocolate and beer to get us in the mood...

​If you haven't read them, the books in Gabaldon's Outlander series are hard to classify -- part sci-fi (time travel), part historical fiction (set in 18th-century Scotland and during WWII) and part romance (thus the many sex scenes). Looong story short, Claire is transported back in time by a magical pagan rock and ends up in an arranged marriage to Jamie, who she falls in love with. After being shocked at Jamie's prowess on their wedding night, Claire asks him how he got so good. "I said I was a virgin, not a monk," he quips.

Gabaldon started by reading the wedding night passage, and as the night went on the scenes got increasingly steamy. Oral sex. Mutual self-pleasuring in a garden. Long, lazy screwing in an underground mineral spring. A heated bout of scratching, biting, clawing sex following Claire's kidnapping and rape. By the time Gabaldon got to the last passage, I could see a few women squirming in their seats. Maybe it was just the uncomfortable metal chairs. Or perhaps they were anxious to get their books signed by the author. But I'm guessing Gabaldon's explicit talk was getting the juices flowing a little more than is comfortable in a public setting.

We can only wonder how many boyfriends/girlfriends/husbands got lucky last night after the reading.

The national launch party for Diana Gabaldon's new novel Echo in the Bone will be held at the Arizona Biltmore on September 22. Click here for details.

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Wynter Holden
Contact: Wynter Holden