New Times: Any downside to being so brief?
Steve E. Nicks (guitarist): No.
NT: Anyone ever told you guys to take your time?
Daniel J. Travanti (guitarist): Only our tour manager.
NT: How brief have you guys been at your briefest?
Nicks: Our first show was only three songs long.
NT: Best thing about being a punk rocker?
Chris Brief (drums): Walking down the street in Indiana and having a truckload of guys call you a faggot.
NT: Best year in punk rock history?
Nicks: 2005, new Briefs album is out.
NT: Worst year?
NT: Why the New Wave skinny ties and plastic sunglasses?
Nicks: Coolest costume we could find at garage sales.
NT: Any celebrity fans?
Nicks: Burt Reynolds, of course.
NT: Boxers or briefs?
Travanti: I don't wear any.
NT: "Orange Alert" is one of your best songs. Politics and punk, a natural mix?
Travanti: A necessary mix.
NT: Considering all the things that can kill us lately, how do you sleep at night?
Nicks: With cyanide by the bedside.
Travanti: Alcohol helps.
NT: What's wrong with your hometown, Seattle?
Travanti: The neo-conservative hippies that call themselves liberal.
NT: Does living there really make you want to kill yourself?
Travanti: It has, for sure. I can't stand the rain.
NT: Favorite Starbucks beverage?
NT: Briefly, describe the new album.
Nicks: Like sitting naked in your kitchen on PCP, with every kitchen appliance on.
NT: It's an album of anti-love songs. Don't you have a heart?
Nicks: Actually, we have very large, bleeding hearts full of chocolate syrup and cornstarch.
NT: Who's the "Genital General"?
Travanti: That's going to be [bassist] Steve [Kicks]. He won't admit it, but it's him.
NT: If your girl did become a zombie, would you kick her out of bed?
Travanti: No, but I think sex with dead people is illegal. I definitely would not tell anyone.
NT: Best zombie movie ever?
Nicks: Dawn of the Dead.
Travanti: Night of the Living Dead, for sure.
NT: Can your new bassist Steve Kicks kick my ass?
Travanti: Yeah. He used to play hockey, you know?
NT: Finally, can we hang out sometime?
Nicks: Yeah, of course. We'll play pinball and shit.