Jägermeister Tour

Does Pennywise represent punk rock’s “second wave,” as described in the promoter’s official literature, or pop-punk’s first wave, as described by most critics? Or is it neo-gospel-rock’s fourth wave? Or who gives a shit? Whatever wave we’re talking about, all three of the band’s Jägermeister Music Tour tour-mates have surfed it. So here’s your chance to see Pennywise (who sound like Bad Religion) co-headline with Pepper (who sound like Sublime), preceded by opening acts Authority Zero (who sound like Bad Religion and Sublime) and Dubluva (who sound like Bob Marley on Zoloft). And the whole thing is sponsored by a diarrhea-like German digestif that tastes vaguely of licorice. Could be a good time, actually. As for the music: Don’t think for a second that der volk at Jägermeister were being flip when they opted for the pop-punk/ska-punk/reggae-punk/melodic-hardcore lineup. That shit is the result of intense focus-group testing and demographic analysis. Because poncy emo kids don’t drink Jägermeister. If they did, we’d be looking at a Fall Out Boy-My Chemical Romance-Jawbreaker-Airborne Toxic Event all-ages show. And that has Smirnoff Ice written all over it.