Jägermeister Tour

Does Pennywise represent punk rock’s “second wave,” as described in
the promoter’s official literature, or pop-punk’s first wave, as
described by most critics? Or is it neo-gospel-rock’s fourth wave? Or
who gives a shit? Whatever wave we’re talking about, all three of the
band’s Jägermeister Music Tour tour-mates have surfed it. So
here’s your chance to see Pennywise (who sound like Bad Religion)
co-headline with Pepper (who sound like Sublime), preceded by opening
acts Authority Zero (who sound like Bad Religion and Sublime)
and Dubluva (who sound like Bob Marley on Zoloft). And the whole thing
is sponsored by a diarrhea-like German digestif that tastes vaguely of
licorice. Could be a good time, actually. As for the music: Don’t think
for a second that der volk at Jägermeister were being flip
when they opted for the pop-punk/ska-punk/reggae-punk/melodic-hardcore
lineup. That shit is the result of intense focus-group testing and
demographic analysis. Because poncy emo kids don’t drink
Jägermeister. If they did, we’d be looking at a Fall Out Boy-My
Chemical Romance-Jawbreaker-Airborne Toxic Event all-ages show. And
that has Smirnoff Ice written all over it.