Las Bandas Borrachas

Had your fill of clean-living, yoga-mat rock stars? The kind who avoid meat and alcohol like Brandy Norwood avoids brake pedals? Then go to Club Red on Saturday, when six Valley rock bands will perform as God intended: completely effing wasted. No idle promise — it’s a stone-cold guarantee. According to event literature, the bandas (bands) borrachas (drunken) will “perform smashed, blitzed, hammered, trashed, wasted, toasted” to the nines. And you’re invited to join them, in a sort of debauched-petting-zoo habitat designed for maximum band/audience interplay. It’s a novel concept, albeit one built on an irresponsible assumption: that the bands in question — including Vistalance, Minus Blindfold, and Roveen — ever actually play sober. Judging from a few cursory listens to the headliner, Vistalance, we wouldn’t bet on it. This is the kind of cardiac-arrest, R-rated core rock that’s invariably fueled by generous quantities of grain spirits. On a mellow night.