From time to time I take the opportunity to abuse the platform entrusted to me to push my personal agenda. In this case it's the totally brilliant LeBron James diss track from Mike Polk.
You're probably from Arizona so you probably don't remember Polk's hilarious "Hastily Made Cleveland Tourism Video" (3 million views and coming!) but, trust me, it's awesome if you get the references. And the fact that people like Regina Brett don't get it made it even better.
ANYWAY, Polk has a new song out, this one perfectly summing up the LeBron situation. You'll notice he never disses LeBron's ability or any of that -- he just points out LBJ is a pussy who failed to deliver a ring, and went to play for another man's team in the hopes of glomming a little glory.
Key line: "You don't realize it now, but you can bet you'll learn quick: You can't hold the spotlight when you're riding Wade's dick."
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Also, LeBron's mom is a crackhead who hooked up with Delonte West, according to Polk.
Ouchie. Call me a homer, but I think this beats out "Bernie Bernie" (A.K.A. "The Ballad of Bernie") as the best sports song of all time. Because, while Bernie Kosar may never have led the Browns to a Super Bowl, LeBron James will always be a bitch.
And before anyone complains: If anyone in AZ wants to write a song begging Kurt Warner to come back, or praising that floppy-headed little Canadian fella who plays basketball for the Suns, or making some sort of relevant statement about the DBacks, I'll blog that too.