| Video |

LeBron James Is A Bitch: The Greatest Sports Parody Song of All Time?

Keep New Times Free
I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Phoenix and help keep the future of New Times free.

From time to time I take the opportunity to abuse the platform entrusted to me to push my personal agenda. In this case it's the totally brilliant LeBron James diss track from Mike Polk.

You're probably from Arizona so you probably don't remember Polk's hilarious "Hastily Made Cleveland Tourism Video" (3 million views and coming!) but, trust me, it's awesome if you get the references. And the fact that people like Regina Brett don't get it made it even better.

ANYWAY, Polk has a new song out, this one perfectly summing up the LeBron situation. You'll notice he never disses LeBron's ability or any of that -- he just points out LBJ is a pussy who failed to deliver a ring, and went to play for another man's team in the hopes of glomming a little glory.

Key line: "You don't realize it now, but you can bet you'll learn quick: You can't hold the spotlight when you're riding Wade's dick."

Also, LeBron's mom is a crackhead who hooked up with Delonte West, according to Polk. 

Ouchie. Call me a homer, but I think this beats out "Bernie Bernie" (A.K.A. "The Ballad of Bernie") as the best sports song of all time. Because, while Bernie Kosar may never have led the Browns to a Super Bowl, LeBron James will always be a bitch.

And before anyone complains: If anyone in AZ wants to write a song begging Kurt Warner to come back, or praising that floppy-headed little Canadian fella who plays basketball for the Suns, or making some sort of relevant statement about the DBacks, I'll blog that too.

Keep Phoenix New Times Free... Since we started Phoenix New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Phoenix, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Phoenix with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.


Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Phoenix.


Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Phoenix.