Local Wire

Madonna

Maybe the only thing shocking about Madonna's 2004 "Reinvention" tour was how completely unshocking it was, at least by her standards. No cone bustier, no simulated masturbation on a bed, no topless backup dancers (female ones, anyway) to writhe against . . . just a safe two-or-so hours of classic hits and even some mid-set singer-songwriter-style seriousness during which she strummed acoustic guitar for "Like a Prayer" and John Lennon's "Imagine." Oh, and some really bad rapping, too. According to interviews she gave at the time, it was the Kabbalah-ized, mid-40s Madge attempting to become a "mature, responsible role model." Zzzzzzzzzzzzz. Thankfully, she's back to being a provocative tramp on her new, disco-fied "Confessions" tour: Heavy on last year's Confessions on a Dance Floor material, and with only a few oldies thrown in, this jaunt marks the return of "S&M Madonna" (equestrian/bondage getups, ball-gags, lots of saddle-riding and pole-grinding, etc.). And then there's the point when she'll endear herself to the new pope by donning a crown of thorns and hanging from a giant cross. As always, tickets are ungodly expensive, but it looks like you'll be getting your money's worth this year! -- Michael Alan Goldberg

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Michael Alan Goldberg