Are you an aspiring music critic? If so, Mesa band Trains Eye View has a gig for you!
There's no pay. And, ummm, your work won't be published anywhere. Oh, also, you're not really being edited by someone who knows anything about journalism or could serve as a reference in the future.
But, as this awesome craigslist ad, titled "Music Journalist Wanted!" explains, your "review" will be used in the press kit for the band. Here's the hilarious text of the ad a colleague sent me. To save some poor schlub the indignity of completing this task, I'll go ahead and bite the bullet by reviewing the songs on their MySpace.
Local band Trains Eye View is in need of a Music Journalist to write a review on their music and the band itself. The band would use this review in their Press Kit which is sent out to venues and record labels to give them an idea of what the music sounds like and what the band is about. The band is scheduled to play a show at The Sail Inn in Tempe on Monday November 15th @ 8:00PM this would be a good chance to meet them and do your review. The band is not able at this time to pay you for your talents but if you're interested in gaining some experience as a journalist, then please contact Sue @ (801)...................
Yeah, so that's all great. Here's a little blurb they can use in their press kit, attributed to Phoenix New Times:
Trains Eye View sounds like one of those projects where a girl who can kind of sing impresses a guy she knows who is eager to put the guitar lessons his parents paid for to work so he drags her into his "home studio" (actually just a Mac Book with two microphones crudely connected through a USB hub) and tells her to let loose. She is flattered beyond words and happily complies. TEV singer Sue Jones' voice is strong and the melodies aren't bad on songs like "Preacher" and "Cloud 9," but the ideas are clearly not fully formed, and the poor sound quality makes it hard to take them seriously.
The tracks on their MySpace fail not for lack of earnest passion or because of a paucity of natural talent, but because they shouldn't exist. It's just too damned easy to hit "Record" these days. So many bands hear about so-called "MySpace success stories" and think it's as easy as making a rough recording of what should have been a practice session then tossin' it up on the ol' interwebs where the right person stumbles upon it. Next thing you know, the labels are in a bidding war! Sorry, folks, that ain't how it goes. Bands like the Arctic Monkeys -- arguably the first and best MySpace band of note -- didn't do it that way. No, they busted their asses getting things right before they took their songs public. That's what Trains Eye View needs to do -- practice and play out regularly to develop some chops before worrying about how to promote the band.
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