Major League Baseball announced the official All-Star Week musical performance roster on Wednesday, and it reads like the back of a Now That's What I Call Music compilation mix.
But thank god, we love Jordin Sparks and Michelle Branch. It would've totally sucked if MLB had a relevant indie surf pop ensemble rocking the Midsummer Classic. It's not like any baseball fans are into that noise anyhow.
Check out of some of the gnarly acts playing All-Star Week after the jump, yo.
Jason Aldean
YES! Country music's seventh or eighth biggest star is pulling double duty at this year's All-Star Game. First he's suiting up to play in the Legends and Celebrity Softball Game on Sunday, and on Monday, Aldean's playing a special on-field performance before homerun derby. Now that's "My Kinda Party."
Bernie Williams
That's a not a typo, former Yankee Bernie Williams is actually a musician. In fact, he's not bad. The classically trained guitarist was nominated for a Latin Grammy in 2009, and on Sunday, he'll play National Anthem before the Legends and Celebrity Game.
Jessie McGuire
The local trumpeter is a brass badass, and he'll be trumpeting the shit out of the Star Spangled Banner like he did in 2001 at Game 2 of the NLCS.
Jordin Sparks
The American Idol-bred pop star and Valley native will sing the National Anthem before Tueday's All-Star Game. She's used to big stages; she sang the song in 2008 before the Super Bowl.
Michelle Branch
She was all I wanted, and now she's here...Phoenix...at the All-Star Game. Unfortunately, she won't be playing the 2006 hit referenced above. She'll be ruining the seventh inning stretch by singing "God Bless America." I wish she would play "Take Me Out to the Ballgame!"
Cee-Lo Green
Arguably the weirdest motherfucker in music right now, he'll be performing at the MLB Gala at the Phoenix Convention Center. Cee-Lo, at one point, was a boss with Goodie Mob, and the fatter half of Gnarls Barkley. But then he sold out, let Gwyneth Paltrow cover his music on Glee, and signed up to judge a singing competition on NBC. Guess the change in his pocket wasn't enough.
BONUS
You Say He's Just a Friend
If you want to skip the radio edit fluff of MLB All-Star Week, Justin Upton is hosting a Sunday night bash at American Junkie in Scottsdale, and Biz Markie's DJing. Yeah, THAT Biz Markie. Together, they've got what you need.