Music News

Moniker Makeover

Malibu "psych-folk-rock" band Simon Dawes and math-rock mavens Don Caballero might be on to something: Give your band a solo-sounding name, play full-bodied songs, and watch people scratch their heads trying to figure out who you're named after. (We'll give 'em both away: Don Caballero takes its name from a little-known SCTV sketch, and Simon Dawes isn't named after anybody.) That's clever, but c'mon, guys, if you really want to confuse people, you should name yourselves after somebody famous and play music that obnoxiously fits the name. Since the moniker "Marilyn Manson" is already taken, we have some other suggestions:

Courtney Lovesick: Instead of expertly riffing off The Beatles and The Kinks, Simon Dawes could wear baby doll dresses and give goonie-shots to the audience by hiking a leg up on the amplifier while clumsily plucking one long, continuous power chord.

The Chaka Kahn Artists: Don Caballero could abandon its cache of complex instrumental jams and transform itself into an Afro'd atom bomb of a funk band that writes its own name over and over at the top of lyric sheets.

Slim Sade: Rather than its introspective, Henry Miller-inspired tunes like "All Her Crooked Ways," Simon Dawes could write seductive soul songs about killing their wives.

The Willie Nelsons: If Don Caballero could drop its thunderous prog-rock rhythm section and pick up some banjos, it could totally smoke the bluegrass as a big-braided country band.

Rick James, Bitch!: Since Simon Dawes' PR buzz says its album Carnivore is "the album The Strokes tried to copy except they couldn't figure out the guitar parts," Simon Dawes needs to drop its sensitive Dylan-esque ditties and hump on some funky bass lines that smoke them bitches like a crack pipe.

Yoko Ono Bono: All Don Caballero would have to do is jerk around and scream "AYAYAYAYAYA!" while acting as if it were a pop culture political leader.

KEEP PHOENIX NEW TIMES FREE... Since we started Phoenix New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Phoenix, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Niki D'Andrea has covered subjects including drug culture, women's basketball, pirate radio stations, Scottsdale staycations, and fine wine. She has worked at both New Times and Phoenix Magazine, and is now a freelancer.
Contact: Niki D'Andrea