| Lists |

Music Guide to Living the Jersey Shore Lifestyle

Keep New Times Free
I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Phoenix and help keep the future of New Times free.

GTL: The process of staying fresh and mint. Stands for "Gym, tan, laundry." Must be done every day to achieve maximum potential. Side effects may include fist pumping. Coined by the eloquent Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino from MTV's ground breaking Jersey Shore.

You gotta GTL everyday to make sure you're looking your best bro. If your shirt looks bad it makes the whole product look bad.

Don't worry about muscle fatigue or skin cancer, GTL must be done on the regular to look your best. Every piece of clothing you own must be taken to the dry cleaners daily, with the exception of bedding, which just needs about half a bottle of Axe spritzed on it right before a lady comes over.

MTV premieres the latest episode of Jersey Shore tonight at 10 p.m. In the mean time, here's Up on the Sun's music guide to maximizing your Guido-gorilla-juicehead potential.

Note: house music is an acceptable substitution to anything on this list.

GYM Olivia Newton John- Physical

Supposedly this song is about sex. Whatever you say, Sandra Dee.

Daft Punk- Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger

You've gotta get that body harder, better, faster, and stronger to impress the ladies.

Kanye West- The New Workout Plan

Your very own guide to finding a rapper, an NBA player, or at least a guy with a car.

Survivor- Eye of the Tiger

Beating up the beat takes some serious training.

TAN Das Racist- All Tan Everything das racist - all tan everything (featuring jay-z) (produced by sabzi) by H+ Records It's tough for white people to tan -- so they frequent tanning salons.

Natasha Beddingfield- Pocket Full of Sunshine

It may be the "worst song ever" but it's all sunny and whatnot, and Emma Stone makes it more bearable in Easy A.

Brian Hyland- Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini

But watch out for tan lines. Justice- Tthhee Ppaarrttyy Justice - Tthhee Ppaarrttyy by Boobaloon Your skin doesn't turn orange from tanning; it turns orange from the bling.

LAUNDRY The Hold Steady- Navy Sheets

"Everybody's coming on their navy sheets/everybody wants to suck on something sweet." Sounds about right.

Ellie Goulding- Under the Sheets

For those regrettable one night stands.

Descendents- Clean Sheets

Imagine how filthy the smush room sheets are. You know, GTL really needs to extend to bedding.

Neil Patrick Harris- The Laundry Song

Dr. Horrible

has the best laundry song of all. And you can't put it past a true Guido to pick up ladies at the laundromat.

Follow us on Twitter and friend us on Facebook

Keep Phoenix New Times Free... Since we started Phoenix New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Phoenix, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Phoenix with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.


Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Phoenix.


Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Phoenix.