A few weeks ago, in a little ditty called Five Signs That You Might Be a Music Junkie, I mentioned that I never deliberately listen to the same song more than once a day.
That's right, no "play it again, Sam" for this geek. (Note: That quote is from Casablanca you little shit; if you didn't know you need to stream it tonight.)
Part of my reasoning is that even after being professionally submerged in music for 27 years, I know that there's an endless amount of quality songs and albums out there that I've never laid ears on, and I'm on a mission. It doesn't make sense to stand in one place when there are so many journeys to take.
But the biggest reason is that I don't want to wear it out. Once I wear out a song, it never comes back. It's dead.
Looks Like I Just Lost Another Friend Now you must understand...killing off music I like is a big deal to me. As I opined in Finding New Music is Easy; Listening to New Music is Hard, I think finding a new song or album is like finding a new friend. I work hard to find 'em, and I value their place in my life.
So I try to hang on to my "music buddies" once I find them.
Nevertheless, I've lost hundreds of music-friends over the years. Thanks to Clear Channel, MTV, Pandora, countless sporting and public events, and a thousand cheese-dick TV shows and commercials, there's a plethora of stuff I once liked that now makes my ears gag.
And why is that? How did all these events and entities destroy so many songs that I once wanted to hear?
Well it isn't rocket science (as if anything I've ever written has been associated with the word "science"). It's because they are OVERPLAYED.
I blame you. The mainstream.
Please Play It Again, Mr. DJ.
Curiously, I seem to be in the minority on this one. Most people I know don't complain about this. The rest of my family plays the same songs over and over and it never seems to bother them at all.
They don't freak out when they hear a beloved song on a new TV commercial. They don't seem to notice that all Pandora channels lead back to the same overdone cache of shit.
The radio research guy calls, and they say, "I Like That Old Time Rock n' Roll, so play it again."
But I notice. I always notice. It drives me nuts. Like a monkey-fighting (recently-heard Samuel Jackson dub for motherfuckin in the edited version of Snakes on a Plane) drill to my head.
My best guess is that there is no Hell, but if there is, for me it will be a continuous loop of one worn-out song after the other. Like being locked in an empty room with KSLX playing. (I hate to be so harsh on our local classic rock station, but I was stuck on a three-week construction project with only radio, and it was really, really bad. Ads aplenty, and nary a deep cut in sight.)
Anyway, I'm not like the average person, and there are a ton of classic songs I'd be thankful to never hear again.
No Really, I Used to Love That Song Too. I referenced the Seger classic, but that's not the type of song on this list. I hated that song from the beginning (it always seemed canned and written-for-the-masses, like the horrible scene it accompanied in Risky Business). To be sure, I could write an extensive list of already-hated, overplayed songs ("Every Breath You Take" jumps to mind instantly) for a week solid.
No, this list is songs I used to like. Songs that were at onetime great discoveries. Songs that I played on my own.
Songs that were killed off by the mainstream.
Songs I never want to hear again.
Each one is from an album I still own (that means on CD or vinyl, as I don't count only having a digital copy as ownership), and will still listen to...
I just skip these songs.
9. AC/DC - "You Shook Me All Night Long" from Back in Black. You could add the title track and "Hell's Bells" from this album as well. The album was beyond my "what are they gonna do now that Bon Scott is dead" expectations, but it's incredible popularity sorta helped the band jump the shark to a cheesier place for me.
8. Led Zeppelin - "Rock and Roll" from Led Zep IV. It's been a long time since I rock and rolled, but not since I heard this song. Ditto with "Black Dog". If not for "Battle of Evermore" you could even use the designation on Side One, although somehow I've never worn out "Stairway to Heaven".
7. The Who - "Baba O'Reilly" from Who's Next. Here's a true statement that sorta backs up my "popular songs are OK with most people" motif: Most people think this song is called "Teenage Wasteland". Unfortunately for me, the song is all wasted. "Won't Get Fooled Again" is close.
6. Aerosmith - "Walk This Way" from Toys in the Attic. I was through with it before Run DMC brought it (and the band) back to life. Now I think I hate it. It's not the only one on Toys, I always skip this song, "Big Ten Inch Record" (cheesy to begin with), and "Sweet Emotion" (overplayed) to go directly to the mighty "No More, No More".
5. Alice Cooper - "School's Out" from School's Out. Sorry, Alice. You're a great guy, and it's a great song, with one of the greatest rock lyrics of all time ("We can't even think of a word that rhymes"), but nine zillion times is enough.
4. Ozzy Osbourne - "Crazy Train" from Blizzard of Ozz. I hate to say it, but Ozzy has sorta worn thin for me in general. Too... much... Ozzy. It's a vicious, phenomenal song--but the car commercial with the family singing it put the final nail in the coffin (that's a death reference in Ozzy's evil honor) for yours geekly.
3. Queen - "Bohemian Rhapsody" from Night at the Opera. How do you not love this song? It's a masterpiece. It's so good that it wore out quick. Then, thanks to the great Wayne's World scene, like a mythological deity, it actually rose from the ranks of my musical dead. For a while. Now, I'm ready for it to die again.
2. Rush - "Tom Sawyer" from Moving Pictures. A great side one, track one can propel an album to classic status, and there's no doubt that Moving Pictures has earned that, but man, have I grown to hate this song. Once again, I'll be starting on "Red Barchetta."
1. Lynryrd Skynyrd - "Sweet Home Alabama" from Second Helping. Ronnie sings that he "hopes Neil Young will remember." How could Neil, or anyone else on Earth, forget? Don't get all worked up Billy Ray - I know it's your anthem and everything - and I'll stand up for the album all day (in fact, I think I shall jam "The Needle and the Spoon" right now) - but we both know this one is worn-out squared.
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That's 10 to start. I could go on all day. If you are a true music nut like me, you probably could too. Join me on the Facebook page and add to the list.
Thanks for reading.