Our Guide to Buying Coachella 2012 Festival Passes

​Last year buying Coachella passes got a little hellish, particularly for those who thought they'd be fine if they waited a while to buy them.

This year looks to be...well...not that different.

The ticket purchasing process has changed yet again. Despite two weekends to choose from, there are now less guarantees that you've secured a ticket when you're in the virtual line to buy it. Plus, the fuck-you fees have continued to climb.

Luckily, we're here to provide some helpful hints so you don't have a miserable and confusing experience when you attempt to purchase festival passes Friday morning.

Check out our hassle-free guide to purchasing this year's festival passes after the jump ...

1. First make a festival pass purchase account. It's a good idea to do this before Friday at 10 a.m. PST. That way you'll be a step ahead of thousands of other people that will simultaneously be trying to claim the same tickets that you will be going after. Take a few minutes right now to set up an account for Weekend 1 or Weekend 2 (or both if you're rich) so you can slightly expedite your ordering process.

2. Go to Coachella.com after 10 a.m. PST on Friday and enter the festival portal.

Enter the Captcha code. Simple enough.

3. Proceed to the God-forsaken standby page. To your presumed extreme dismay, this page will show you how long you have to wait in the virtual line. Being on the standby page doesn't guarantee you a ticket. People on the standby page are then "selected from this page for the chance to purchase passes." Believe it or not, being on the purchase page doesn't guarantee you a ticket either. A very hearty WTF to you, Front Gate Tickets! As much as I'm reluctant to vouch for the sick monopoly that is Ticketmaster, there's a reason they've handled the Coachella tickets in the past: because they know how to do it efficiently.

4. Review the festival pass options. Click the "buy now" button next to your preferred option. Select the quantity of festival passes you wish to purchase and click "add to order."

5. Select add-ons and upgrades. This is the page where you'll be choosing car camping passes, companion parking passes, shuttle passes, etc. You'll have to add them to your cart one at a time.

6. Prepare to cry when you see the prices. Say sayonara to all of the money in your savings account. Don't worry though; once you arrive at the festival grounds come April, you'll be at peace with your purchase. I promise.

7. GTFO/Checkout. If you took my advice in step 1, reward yourself by choosing "express checkout" on the Secure Checkout page. If you were a pompous ass who thought you were too good for my advice, proceed to waste time filling out all the blank fields. Either way, the shipping rules are the same as in the past: P.O. boxes are not acceptable, and a signature is mandatory for all deliveries. If you live in an apartment complex, don't panic; you don't have to sign for the package yourself. The office should sign for it and pass it on to you. Everything will be shipped out in March.

8. Give away even more money on the delivery page. You forgot that there was still more money to spend, didn't you? Hand over another $10 for shipping, click "continue," accept the terms and conditions, and click "purchase." High five the person next to you. And don't forget to spend the next three months telling everyone you know about how awesome Coachella is going to be.

9. Start saving money for Coachella 2013. Like it's ever going to get cheaper? As if.

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