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Robin Thicke Cancels Phoenix Performance, Gives Crazy Interview

Robin Thicke's performance at the Arizona Jazz Festival was canceled abruptly Sunday, depriving people who insist on dressing like him for Halloween one last look at his unnervingly perfect hair. Word at the festival and on their website is that illness is the reason for his absence, which wasn't confirmed until Sunday afternoon. (The rest of the festival went off without a hitch, so far as we can tell.)

No word yet as to whether he'll reschedule--but in this case, no news doesn't seem like good news. Fear not, though: He has somehow managed to stay in the news without us, thanks to "2013's most dreadful interview," given to Elle last week.

Read More: "Blurred Lines" and Marvin Gaye: Can You Copyright Cool?

The linked Guardian blog post does a fine job of aggregating the most unpleasant things you might learn about #THICKE himself in the interview--he listens to his own music during sex, he's got a larger penis than his son, he was "like a college kid when [he] was 14," chick-wise.

But weak-constitutioned Thicke-family novices should be especially wary of the part about his father, the noted incorruptible sitcom father Alan Thicke: "My dad was single my whole pubescent period. [Laughs] He had Ms. Alabama, Ms. Dominican Republic--every week. I was like, Dang, Pops. He had an indoor Jacuzzi, and he frequented it. The first time I saw a naked woman was when I went to take a shower one morning before school. I was like, Who is this girl in my shower?"

Older Thicke's rebound conquests, then--he divorced #THICKE's mother in 1983, and wouldn't marry again until 1994--appear to have been instrumental to the I'm going to say cosmopolitanism that produced "Blurred Lines," and also a series of very weird interviews accompanying "Blurred Lines."

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Now, I'm not going to do it, but if you're an evangelical Christian interested in using that as an argument for the resumption of covenant marriages, well, I can't exactly stop you, is the thing. So, you know.

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