February 6, 2011 | 10:47pm
Between the bad pickup on the microphones and the complete lack of nip-slips, this year's Super Bowl halftime show downright sucked.
The whole thing just made me want to grab Will.i.am by the shoulders, shake him violently, and ask him, "What the hell was that?" (I also found it really amusing that the Steelers' head coach Mike Tomlin sort of looks a lot like Will.i.am.) I mean, the group's costumes were pretty neat, and all of the dancers' light-up suits were tight as well. Unfortunately, neither one was enough to distract me from all of that so-called music.
Their opening of "I Got A Feeling" was pretty predictable considering "tonight's gonna be a good night" for anyone who wins their bets. "Boom Boom Pow" was disgraceful.
I gotta hand it to the halftime organizers though, the surprise guest spots for Slash and Usher were pretty tight, and to an extent, I didn't predict them. Not to say that Fergie didn't kill the song almost entirely, but her collaboration with Slash on Guns 'N Roses' "Sweet Child O' Mine" was somewhat redeeming. The performance of that song also made me realize that just about anybody could've dressed up as Slash as long as they find some glasses, a top hat, and a good enough wig. Furthermore, everyone watching the game with me said, "Oh no" as soon as Will.i.am droned, "Oh myyyyyy god," which immediately prompted one of us to say, "I bet Usher's gonna come out." Shocker.
Thankfully Usher only lipsyched for half of his performance. On the other hand, he held it down the most out of pretty much everyone who graced the stage, so kudos to him.
Meanwhile, where the hell are all of these people descending from? Where's the ceiling?
The stage didn't fully light up properly during BEP's performance of "Where Is the Love?" Hey, I'll let it go. It's not easy to assemble a stage so quickly and have everything function 100 percent correctly for the full duration of the halftime show.
Considering how bad the Black Eyed Peas were overall, seven or eight songs was just about seven or eight more than I wanted them to play. The group just stood in place without working the crowd at all. Overall, it was anything but entertaining. This year's halftime show might easily be one of the worst that most of us have ever watched.