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The Scorpions

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Now in their 35th year, the Scorpions are a quintessential hard rock band. Everything from their over-the-top '80s sound to their Spinal Tap-length roster of current and past members (there have been 19 Scorpions!) is somehow representative of all the ridiculousness of hard rock's heyday. You may remember hits like "Rock You Like a Hurricane" and "No One Like You," what with their big talk, gloats, and dirty promises of phenomenal sex. Of course, they did a few ever-popular power ballads, the most notable being "Wind of Change," marking the German band's experience during the fall of the Berlin Wall. Their new record, Sting in the Tail, came out in March and is being backed by a three-year farewell tour titled Get Your Sting and Blackout. The record is full of cheesy, clichéd material — even for them. The opening track "Raised on Rock" features the lyrics, "'Cause I was raised on rock / My dad was howling but my heart was a rolling stone / Yeah, I was raised on rock / My mama said I had a devil to scratch my soul / And I was raised on rock." Let's hope we're raising our kids on better music.

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