Local Wire

Toby Keith

Well, stick a boot in my ass and whistle "Dixie," I do believe Toby Keith has gone soft! Seems like only yesterday the linebacker-size Oklahoman was the biggest, baddest mofo in all of country music -- favorite of rowdy rednecks from coast to coast; godsend to U.S. Army recruiters; mainstay on neo-con iPods and Abrams M1A1 loudspeakers -- thanks to "Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue" and the Shock'n Y'all tactics of "American Soldier" and "The Taliban Song." But on his latest disc, Honkytonk University, Big Toby's a lover, not a fighter, worried more about the ladies who are leavin' than raining fire down on a cave complex near Jalalabad. Now, to be fair, the 44-year-old country vet sang about cheatin' hearts long before getting that jingoistic bug bite. But that's not the soft I'm talking about -- on his new "As Good As I Once Was," he croons of being offered a threesome by twin sisters. His response? "I ain't as good as I once was/I got a few years on me now/But there was a time back in my prime/When I could really lay it down . . ." Don't worry, Toby -- even Bob Dole does Viagra commercials!
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Michael Alan Goldberg