Audio By Carbonatix
By Joseph Golfen
Everybody’s got one. That song that’s always on no matter where you go or what you do. That song that is at once instantly recognizable and eternally evil! You cringe at the opening chords and every time you hear it a little piece of your love for music dies. What’s worse, everyone around you seems to think it’s great. Madness, I tell you. Madness.
In order from “unforgivable” to “stab my own eyes out” I present the list of the top 10 songs you must turn off. Do it now. Turn it off now. Now!
10. Gwen Stefani – “The Sweet Escape”
What happened to Gwen Stefani? She used to be that cool girl in the ska band, but now she’s another talentless diva peddling out tunes like “The Sweet Escape.” In a likely attempt to punch up this d-list Madonna knockoff, Stefani opens the song with a dead-on impression of a wounded pigeon, and it pains me like a dentist drill a inch too deep in my back molar.
9. Soulja Boy – “Crank That (Soulja Boy)”
I wouldn’t have thought anyone would want to listen to a song in which the singer mostly just says three things: His own name, “Woah!” and “Ho!,” but I was wrong (at least Little John throws a “yeah” in there from time to time). Then I thought, no one’s going to do a dance in which you just bounce back and forth like a boxer who can’t bend his knees. But I was wrong about that too. This song’s nothing but a never-ending chorus and it gets old before it even begins.
8. Panic! At the Disco – “I Write Sins, Not Tragedies”
