Sometimes help can come from the unlikeliest of places. You might not think of Ozzy Osbourne as a self-help guru, but you sure as hell can't say the the dude doesn't know how to survive.
His years of hard living benefit his new book, Trust Me, I'm Dr. Ozzy, out on bookstore shelves today. In the book, the rock legend embraces his status as a medical marvel to offer up advice and share stories about his uncanny ability to stay alive despite his excesses.
Expect survival stories not found in his memoir, along with the most popular material from his Rolling Stone health column, his answers to celebrities' medical questions, expert charts, and more. And of course, there's some ink devoted to bat blood. Naturally.
Here are five more self-help books coming from strange, unlikely sources...
How to Make Love Like a Porn Star by Jenna Jameson
This improbable self-help book takes readers on a bender that kicks off in a tattoo parlor in Vegas, where the 17-year-old Jameson decides to become a stripper. The detailed pages not only include battles with drug addiction, drinking, eating disorders, dysfunctional relationships with men and women, and strep throat contracted from a co-star, but a wealth of Shakespearean quotes and, of course, the inside dirt on the porn industry. If you're aspiring to be a porn star (or already a porn star trying to become an actress) this book is a gold-mine. Oh yeah, it's packed with advice. Some of my favorites? To men: "Practice your orgasm face," and for women: "Pick a name that's original and not cheesy." Hence, she chose Jameson because "it was the name of a whiskey, and whiskey was rock 'n' roll."
Bringing Metal to the Children, by Zakk Wylde
The Viking-sized guitar god gives the rundown on what it's like, truly, to tour with a big-time metal group. However, instead of dispensing it with the inner-workings of the emotional side, Wylde uses comedy to explain the disgusting pranks, drinking, and partying that goes down. While he doesn't take the book seriously at all (there's even a chapter where Wylde's beard highjacks the book to complain about the lack of credit it gets for the guitar player's image), it is a look into that lifestyle, and a forewarning to all eager musicians who want to take it on.
After all, as Rob Zombie said, "If Zakk Wylde did not exist we would have to build him like Frankenstein's monster. The hands of Randy Rhoads sewn onto the body of Conan the Barbarian implanted with the brain of Larry David."
Seven Deadly Sins: Settling the Argument Between Born Bad and Damaged Goods by Corey Taylor
First off, this is not an autobiography. It is the lead singer of Slipknot and Stone Sour's perspective of the Seven Deadly Sins, and how perceiving sin differently could make or break a person. Taylor details his substance-fueled lifestyle before and after his success, which ended up making him think about what it really meant to sin and whether it could --or should-- be recast in a different light.
The Bitchin' Kitchen Cookbook: Rock Your Ktichen and Let The Boys Clean Up The Mess, and Cookin' for Trouble by Nadia G, a Canada Cooking Channel Chick
Nadia G., an Italian-born, Canada-raised, rock 'n' roll chick, presents a cooking guide that is dripping with style, humor and culinary classics. This chick beat out Conan O'Brien in an award for best mobile comedy series, has an online boutique, a show on Food Network Canada and just launched in American prime time with Bitchin Kitchen on the Cooking Channel. Both these books are packed with chapters devoted to such subjects as what to cook after a one-night stand, how to impress stuck-up in-laws, bacon, girl's night in, high-speed suppers, dysfunctional family pizza night, and back-of-the-fridge family brunches.
Keep Phoenix New Times Free... Since we started Phoenix New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Phoenix, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Phoenix with no paywalls.