No matter how many police reports we read through on a monthly basis, the criminal creativity, stupidity, and craziness never ceases to amaze us.
Just when you think you've seen it all, there's always something worse. From a guy chucking his son over a wall to run from the cops, to another naked meth-head, to a man trying to escape an imaginary police dog, to a man taking an entire chicken to the face, and more, we bring you the 10 craziest Phoenix-area crimes of the month:
Timothy Millet admitted to secretly taking "thousands" of photos of women inside Fry's grocery stores for "sexual purposes," police say. Millet was caught after he tried to take a video under a woman's dress at the Fry's on the corner of Warner Road and Cooper Road in Gilbert, but he accidentally touched the woman's leg with his phone.
Police say 59-year-old Linna Croft wanted to know the gender of a 4-year-old with his mother at a Phoenix bus stop. Croft asked the boy's mom, then called her a liar, before stuffing her hand down the boy's pants, and checking for herself, according to police.
Guadalupe Castaneda admitted to slamming about 30 beers before stealing a car from a Phoenix parking lot. He didn't even make it out of the parking lot before slamming into two females, one of them a 17-year-old pregnant girl. The girl's unborn child was in critical condition, according to police.
Raymon Collier was found completely naked and covered in both Off! insect-repellent and Raid insecticide inside a Mesa apartment that wasn't his, and explained to police that he was just trying to throw the police dog off his scent. Did we mention there was no police dog?
The manager of a Fry's grocery store in Phoenix took a rotisserie chicken to the face while chasing theft suspect Carlos Guzman. Guzman was apparently upset that the manager dared to follow him out of the store, and tossed the chicken at him after swinging his belt like a lasso didn't do the trick.
Steve Charow, a 47-year-old Phoenix resident who just happens to be a registered sex offender said a Good Samaritan he met in the park offered to wash his clothes for him, so he stripped down and handed them over, according to police. Cops found his pants on a park bench, with meth in the pocket, police say.
Cesar Garcia was arrested for guzzling a beer inside a grocery store. After he was released from the police department, he jacked an ambulance in the parking lot to get home. Believe it or not, Garcia was arrested again.
Police say 19-year-old Jasmine Hernandez tried to steal a car, but got stumped by the automatic transmission. The owner of the vehicle opened the door in an attempt to prevent her from getting away and saw that she was frantically using the levers that adjust the lights and windshield wipers in an attempt to put the car into drive. She was arrested for active warrants, and not even for the poor attempt at stealing the car.
Police say 40-year-old Lance Wallis, who was driving drunk, crashed his car in Sun City West, and ordered his passengers -- his 4-year-old son and teenage niece -- to run. Wallis, who ran with his son for a bit, tossed his 4-year-old over an 8-foot wall and darted the other way once a Maricopa County sheriff's deputy started chasing him. The kid was just fine, physically, and dad was arrested.
Phoenix police say Daniel Gray didn't realize for several hours that he left his 3-month-old son in a hot car, even though he was smoking weed right next to the car at one point. Daniel Gray's 3-month-old son, James, died in the car, which was parked behind a sports bar where Gray works.
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