10 Things Things You Could Theoretically Hunt in Phoenix

 From the files of "terrible, illegal, or otherwise futile ideas," we present a list of bizarre things you could theoretically try to hunt in Phoenix — but probably shouldn't.

***Note: New Times does not necessarily encourage or endorse any of the following activities. 

10. Africanized Bees
If you're looking for a more, shall we say, "interactive target," then a colony of Africanized (killer) bees should do the trick.

9. Jackalopes
Snagging one of these means lifelong bragging rights. Also, we hear Darwin had a huge collection . . .

8. Palo Verde Beetles
When it comes to local wildlife, these present one of the more terrifying options. (Also, just 'cause the dog ate it doesn't mean you should.)

7. Road Signs
Immobile pieces of metal — apparently a favorite urban hunting target.

6. All your empties from last weekend
A cursory YouTube investigation reveals that many prefer to shoot beer cans filled with beer, but what's that old adage about not wasting beer because there are thirsty college kids out there. . .

5. Garbage
Sort of like hunting for beer cans, except the pool of possibilities is much wider.

4. Water balloons 
For those tired of the traditional water balloon fight, or looking to ruin a pool party.

3. Cowboy hats
Why shoot an apple off someone's head when you could take aim at a cowboy hat? Grab yer bow and arrow and collect 'em all!

2. A Cactus
Wild, spiky, hormone-free, cage-free, and arguably organically fed, your backyard cactus may seem like the ultimate local hunting challenge, but harming one of these is a felony. Meaning, don't do it. (Also, they've been known to kill their attackers. Consider yourself warned.)

1. Bigfoot (Mogollan Monster to locals)
They're out there, trust us...
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Miriam is a staff writer at Phoenix New Times.
Contact: Miriam Wasser