10 Types of Arizona Democrats

If there were a field guide to spotting members of a political party, the Arizona Democrat would be listed as a “rare bird.”

Still, there are some identifiable types of Democrats from here, as observed in their natural habitats. Check out our run-down of 10 types of Arizona Dems:

See also:
–10 Types of Arizona Republicans

10.) The Pot-Smokin’ Hippie

Attributes:

• Not that there’s necessarily anything wrong with that.
• “Dude . . .”
• Patchouli scent.

9.) The Anti-Republican

Attributes:

• Political beliefs consist of, “Republicans suck.”
• Does not appear to have own beliefs.
• Doesn’t seem concerned about issues, just how stupid Republicans are.

8.) The Socialist

Attributes:

• Most sentences start with, “Wouldn’t it be cool if we could all . . .”
• No sarcasm can be detected when they call President Obama “center-right.”
• Is actually down with sharing.

7.) The Hipster

Attributes:

• Wears short-shorts, but swears it’s the Republicans who are uncool.
• Is the Democratic equivalent of the frat boy.
• Was pulling for Hillary in ’08.

6.) The Pro-Immigrant

Attributes:

• The most common one-issue Democrat around here.
• Could probably pass for Republican, if not for resistance to local immigrant-haters.
• Not always undocumented immigrants, despite belief of local immigrant-haters.

5.) The Party Parrot

Attributes:

• Speaks like a script to an MSNBC show.
• Actually does repeat lines from MSNBC shows.
• Still blames everything on George W. Bush.

4.) The Republican

Attributes:

• After being exposed to hardcore teabaggers, now assumes he or she is a Democrat.
• As the name implies, this person identifies with more Republican ideals.
• May call self a “moderate Democrat.”

3.) The Occupier

Attributes:

• Tries to prove points by sleeping in public.
• Does not know the points he or she is trying to prove.
• “Mic check.”

2.) The Prius Driver

Attributes:

• Also known as the pseudo-environmentalist.
• Is “green,” in the sense that “green” is a fashion statement to keep up with the Joneses.
• Probably tosses cigarette butts out of the window of that Prius.

1.) The Non-Existent

Attributes:

• Most common type of Arizona Democrat.