A Real Nowhere Man

Above the Crowd: Can you feel the excitement?
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As the vote count in the CD5 race between Harry "Milquetoast" Mitchell and Congressman J.D. "Why Do You Hate Me?" Hayworth drags on, it seems increasingly unlikely that J.D.'s gonna pull it out of his Foghorn Leghorn ass. I hope I'm wrong, but even though many of the provisional/early ballots have been counted, reports are they're making no significant dent so far on Mitchell's 50-to-46-point lead.

On the other hand, with tens of thousands of provisional and early ballots left to be counted, there's always hope for a miracle. Don't get me wrong, I'm as liberal as the day is long. But Mitchell bores the crap outta me. He's a classic, corporate Democrat, and his claim to fame seems to be that as Mayor McCheese in Tempe and later as State Senator, he helped make Mill Ave. safe for P.F. Chang's and Hooter's. Way to go, Harry!

Mitchell lacks personality, vision, speaking ability and any tidbit of uniqueness. J.D., for all his faults, is at least entertaining, and is always far more newsworthy than the Nowhere Man who's his opponent. Ever see the Harry Mitchell "statue" in Tempe at the Harry E. Mitchell Government Complex? In artist John Nelson's "Above the Crowd," Nelson envisions Mitchell as a stilt-walker. Notice how small the actual "man" is atop the "stilts." Nice metaphor. The Dems have lent Milquetoast Mitchell the stilts. Without them, Mitchell's a Lilliputian, a mental midget. What a joke! Hope you pull it out J.D.

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Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Phoenix.


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