The GrossCost of livin': $150 mil.

Alt-Fuels Crook Keels Over

As far as I'm concerned, former House Speaker Jeff Groscost, whom the Bird disses in death this week, deserved to be wearing stripes, eating green baloney and wondering if he was gonna have to take it up the poot pipe from his cell-mate Randy when he croaked November 3. The guy cost AZ taxpayers $150 million in the Y2K alt-fuels scam, and he would have GrossCost us upwards of a cool billion if he'd had his druthers and the conversion incentives for monster trucks and Urban Assault Vehicles had continued. He worked for his buds in the natural gas industry before the legislation was passed, got help from them in writing the law, and then went back to work for them after Mesa Mormons became so pissed at the Republi-con artist that they did the unthinkable -- threw his ass out of office in favor of a friggin' DEMOCRAT! The guy was a cheap, corrupt hornswaggler. If he'd pulled that shit in California, he absolutely would've ended up the backdoor bitch of Cellblock Three. But guess what? This is Arizona, baby. You practically have to kill someone while a public servant to catch an indictment. Manet Reno, uh, I mean, Manet Napolitano declined to prosecute the bastard while she was AZ AG, saying he was just incompetent, not corrupt. Bull patties! Manet laid off him for the same reason she didn't go after the FLDS in Colorado City: she may look and act like a bull dyke, but she's absolutely got no huevos when it comes to messin' with Mormons of any stripe, whether they're swindling AZ out of millions or marrying their 14-year-old nieces.

So now the guy keels over at the age of 45 and everyone, including Manet and John "Manchurian Candidate" McCain, is trying to French kiss his corpse. Yeah, I know the "rule" about not speaking ill of the dead, but tough titty in this case. Allow me to cop a line from Willy S.'s Julius Caesar: "The evil that men do lives after them. The good is oft interred with their bones." Groscost's influence on events while alive was nefarious, and he should forever be remembered for the major fuckups he made. Was the guy a good father and a faithful husband? I don't know, and I don't care. Leave it in the grave. While breathing, Groscost did plenty to ensure that his name will live in infamy. All the posthumous sphincter-smoochers in the world won't change that.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.


All-access pass to the top stories, events and offers around town.

  • Top Stories


All-access pass to top stories, events and offers around town.

Sign Up >

No Thanks!

Remind Me Later >