Pocho in a Pontiac
Dear Pocho,
An urban legend suggests that Mexicans don't like Chevys (pronounced with a harsh "ch" as in "chicken" and "chupacabra," gracias) because the auto giant named one of its 1960s-era cars the "Nova" — which translates as "doesn't go" in Spanish. But General Motors stats show that the Nova did well for the company, even in Mexico. And not just the Nova. Mexicans consume Chevys like mescal and, come to think of it, sometimes together.
Nowadays, Mexicans purchase Chevy's expensive trucks and SUVs (Chevy hasn't manufactured a mexcellente car since the 1970 Impala) as useful status symbols: Nothing smuggles your family like a gleaming Suburban the size of a small-apartment living room. Dig this, gabachos: While more and more of youse ditch Detroit in favor of jalopies pieced together by goldfish farmers, Mexicans buy American. So who's patriotic now, cabrónes?
Why shouldn't the United States adopt the same type of anti-illegal-immigration laws that Mexico keeps on its books? Illegal aliens in Mexico are felons — so why do Mexicans complain if the U.S. wants to do that as well? Mexico deported more than 200,000 Central Americans last year.
Very Hypocritical
Dear Gabacho,
Why in God's good name would Americans ever want to follow Mexico's example? Mexico experienced boom times when it welcomed immigrants, and much of what passes for Mexican culture today came courtesy of these late 19th- and early 20th-century influxes — banda and norteño music (German and Czech), al pastor meat (Arab), Frida Kahlo (Jews), calling all Asians chinos (chinos). But once Mexico began cracking down on immigration after the drafting of the 1917 Mexican Constitution, this once-promising country stagnated. A more liberal immigration policy is one of the things that distinguishes the United States from Mexico — that and flushable toilet paper.
Got a spicy question about Mexicans? Ask the Mexican at [email protected]. And those of you who do submit questions: include a hilarious pseudonym, por favor, or we'll make one up for you!
