Arizona Diamondbacks Stink Up the Joint Against Kansas City Royals

Gross, dude.

The Royals, a team that's been irrelevant since 1985 (a World Series-winning season that also marks the last time they finished first in their division), made the sinking-ship-like D-Backs look like the irrelevant one.

For example, Arizona's line score in the team's 5-0 loss at KC's Kauffman Stadium read like this: zero stinking runs, four lousy hits, and three pathetic errors. And here's the brown-paper-bag-on-head-wearing stat of the game: Every Arizona hit was a freaking single.

Barf bag, please.

Before game's start, the interleague match-up between the American League Central and National League West squads held some intrigue. The Royals, now winners of five straight, chose to start Gil Meche, who is like KC's version of hard-luck loser Dan Haren, while the D-Backs sent hit-and-miss lefty Doug Davis to the hill. But Arizona's lame performance extinguished any temptation to watch this debacle.

Meche (4-5) clearly was the difference-maker while hurling his 132-pitch, complete-game shutout. Davis (3-8) actually didn't pitch too badly himself in his 5 2/3 innings of four-run (three earned), six-hit ball. KC's small-ball offense, led by number-eight hitter Mark Teahen's three-for-four night, grinded out 10 hits in scoring one run each in the first, second, fifth, sixth, and eighth frames.

Offensive standouts for the Diamondbacks, who dropped to 27-38 overall? Uh, none, man. Four singles in nine innings of ball may relegate you to the doghouse, but it sure as hell isn't going to get you on SportsCenter.

The two teams face off again today at 5:10 p.m. for the second of three in KC. Scheduled starters are Arizona's Max Scherzer (3-4, 3.63 ERA) and Kansas City's Zack Greinke (8-2, 1.72 ERA). TV: FSN-AZ. Radio: KTAR-AM 620. For more info, see

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Steve Jansen
Contact: Steve Jansen